The Outsider
by RaphandMikey83
Summary: How does one cope with being an Outsider of your own family? For Raph, it's simple. His family is happy...So Deal With It. Leo/Mikey/Don, Raph/Himself. Turtlecest is Involved.
1. Chapter 1

The Outsider

Pairing: Leo/Mikey/Don, Raph/By Himself Rating: R

Summary: How does one cope with being an Outsider of your own family?

For Raph, it's simple. His family is happy: So Deal With It.

Sleep.

Sometimes I wonder why it is that I can sleep so much bettah on a hammock than a regular bed. Maybe it's cause...sometimes it feels like I'm falling.

Pretty cliche, eh? But sometimes the dreams get a little bit, eh, rocky is probably the best way to describe it.

And a bit scary...

Yeah, I know. I'm supposed to be the 'turtle that ain't afraid of nothin' and such. But sometimes, the dreams get to be a bit too damn real for me, and it feels like I'm gonna fall into some big, black pit that I'll never get out of, so I'll be rolling my ass off of the bed and cursin' like a sailor 'cause of it.

But the hammock, it's kinda like a cocoon, ya know?

I close my eyes again, remember bits of the dream that just erupted throughout my head.

'No! Raphie don't, please! Wait, Wait!'

'Raphael! Have you lost your mind?'

I could feel a piece of pipe in my hands, blue eyes staring up at me in fear, strong arms from 'Fearless' holding my right arm back, only this time I can feel...

Fluid, wet fluid across my hands, across my face. It's red.

It's fucking red!

A gasp of air escapes me as I lean over my hammock, trying ta take deep breaths. Ain't workin, like usual.

This 'cocoon' of mine ain't workin' right now, as I tumble myself out of the hammock and race outta my room, towards the bathroom. After closing and locking the damn door, I turn on a light and look at myself.

Nothin'. No blood, not on my face and not on my hands. As I turn on the faucet, I can't help but splash some water across my face and over my arms. It's like I can feel that damn blood all over me. Mikey's blood.

But he was safe! Leo stopped me...Leo stopped me.

"Why the fuck did HE haveta stop me, huh? Ya couldn't stop, ya bastard. Couldn't stop before, couldn't stop during. Why asshole? Why?"

I couldn't help but chuckle softly, at least for a bit. Here I am, tryin' to intimidate my own fuckin' reflection. But the chuckle dies down, and I just stare at myself.

I wanna punch it. I wanna punch this fuckin' mirror so much. But, it's just be another thing for Donnie ta fix, for Leo to ask question about, for Mikey to worry.

Don't deserve the worry. Don't deserve pity or any other stuff you'd call that.

The grip on the sink is making my fingers turn red, as I can't help but stare at my eyes in the mirror. Sometimes, with the bendin' of the light or whatnot, it's almost like their black.

Like a shark, waitin for prey. Waitin for blood.

"God damnit, what the hell's wrong with me..."

I already knew the answer, so why ask the question. This wasn't the first time this sort of thing happened, in the middle of the night.

It's why a lot of times, I would rather just go out and bust some heads. Take it out on some damn punks, and get so tired I just zonk out and my head don't even try to dream.

Cause if not, I can get nights like this. Or worse. A lot worse.

Shakin' my head, I just had to look at somethin'. Sorta make sure of something, so to speak. I ease out of the bathroom and slowly check out my brothers' rooms.

There was nothing in Leo's rooms. Candles, mats, but no Leo. Donnie's room was a no go. Would need a damn tank to get through that door. Donnie soundproofed the thing a long while ago.

I already figured why he did that for...

So last, but not least, was Mikey's room. Edging the door as quietly as possible, I figured on what I would see, and I was pretty much on the mark.

There was Mikey, in his own little cocoon. Leo was on the right, and Donnie was on da left.

But what grabbed my sight was the smiles on all three of them. They were safe, sleeping soundly and comfortably.

That's good. I really am glad for dat.

Easing the door back, I grab a beer from the fridge and head back to my room, easing my shell onto the hammock once again.

The beer's not too bad. Despite what Casey wants ta do, I also liked to sip this stuff. The liquid would ease down my throat, through my body, and settle there...it was nice.

Kinda like a warmth. Warmth, that'd be nice.

I knew about those guys for a while now. It had started with Leo and Don. Looks, touches, and other shit that made it plain as day to me. It went on for about, what was it? Maybe a month?

I figured they didn't need no one bustin' into their party. If they tell us? Cool. When you're a turtle livin' in disease infested waters, tryin' to protect people who could easily just send ya off to a lab to cut you into pieces, and the lack of turtle babes around the corner, then fuck it. why not be happy?

Why couldn't THEY be happy...besides. Ain't like I haven't thought about it. I could admit, if I had first thoughts or feelings or whatever you wanted to call it, it was probably Mikey.

Yeah, the little nutball could annoy me. But the kid was somethin' pretty damn special. Like a sunshine spot in this crapfest called the sewers. The kid's got some soft skin to him, and the baby face on the guy is pretty damn cute. And those blue eyes are his, it's kinda easy to get lost in them. Lot of times I could say his voice annoys me, but not in the way they think.

It's because I'd rather hear other stuff come out of that voice of Mikey's. And it's so temptin', so...*huffs*' fuckin' shit.

But Leo and Don, they got their stuff too.

Yeah, I wouldn't think I could think of Leo like dat. We argue, we fight.

Fight. Fightin'. More like I'm the one doing that.

I shake my head and take another sip of the beer, as that warmth eases down my throat once again.

But hell, Leo's got some nice stuff to him. Despite all the shit I give to him, the guy knows what he's doing. Good fighter, strong body, nice scent from those candles that he always uses.

And Donnie? Sweet guy, hot thighs, and nice hands. Hands that could do who knows what. And the guy's willing ta patch me up whenever I get hurt, or fix stuff I break.

Fixin' stuff...always havin' to fix me. Always needing to fix me.

"Shit, man." I just had to sip a bit more, beer's not too bad.

But yeah, Leo and Don had been together for about a month. Although they figured we didn't know about it. Then one day I saw the two of them in front of Mikey's door.

It was late at night, I had just come back from up top. Letting off some steam, and usual business like that. I couldn't really hear what they were saying, but I could see the look on their faces.

Damn knucklehead's noggin' was shaking up and down so much, he looked like one of those Bobble Heads. Plus the kid's grin was splitting pretty damn big and wide.

Leo and Don seemed to share the same look, and with some movements Mikey led Leo and Don into his bedroom.

I'm not a genius...leave that to the brainiac or even Fearless. Although try to bet if I'd ever admit that to the guy's face. But I could take a good guess.

Leo and Don were together a month. They wanted Mikey, so they talked to him. Kid says yes, they have fun, and that was...how long ago was that? Two months?

Yeah, that was two months ago. I can't really blame Leo and Don, if I was with one or the other, why not invite Mikey to da party?

I could feel the hammock swinging a bit, back and forth. It was a nice feeling.

There were parts of me that thought I should just go up to them, say somthin', and see what happens next.

Would they want me to join? Or would I be part of some 'pity party'? Maybe they thought I'd hate them if I found out they were sleeping with each other, let alone gay.

Don't they trust me though? Wouldn't Mikey maybe want to come by and ask, or say something?

On the other hand, why the hell would they? To be honest, I wouldn't blame them.

It's just the four of us in the lair now. Sensei's on vacation in Japan. Casey & April too. Well, not in Japan, but they took a long vacation as well. None would be back for at least a couple months.

But yeah, it's not like I'd be the right 'material' for them.

Oh, hey Mikey, remember the time I almost split yer brains open and Leo had to save ya? Ah yeah, those were good times. And Leo, how bout another fight. What other stupid shit can I say ta piss ya off this time?

Oh, by the way Donnie, got another scratch. Forget the shit you've been busy with for hours and hours to fix little ole me.

The funny thing is, if I try to do something about it I'd get funny looks.

'Hey, you alright? Hey, how come you're not angry? Are you sick?'

Being alone? Yeah, it can suck. Knowing that you deserve it? Yeah, even more so. It's not Leo's fault. Or Don's or Mikey's. It's yer own.

The thing is, I don't want some pity shit. Leo could go into the whole 'well, we'll have to let you in because it'll tear the team apart if we don't'. Donnie's too damn nice to say no.

And Mikey? The kid actually said he forgave me for that 'pipe' thing. I don't buy it. Well, that's not true.

I just don't wanna buy it. The kid ain't got the reason to forgive me for that shit. It's not like I was controlled by some damn 'mind-controlly-thing', or drugged up, or forced at gunpoint.

It was me. All me. And knowing Mikey, the kid would just agree with "sure, let Raph join in."

But then, what's the damn point if it ain't really a choice? I don't wanna be some damn compromise, some bargaining chip of 'all or nothing'...

I don't want their pity. Well, more like I don't deserve their pity. Yeah, some nights my blankets or sheets that I'll put over myself will get soaked at the thought of any of my brothers, or hell, sometimes thinking of all three of dem at the same time.

But Leo and Don were together for one month, and now two months with Mikey. So three months, and nothing.

But I ain't gonna say anything. How can you tell three people ya love that you have dreams of blood and death? Three people that you either ignore, or yell, or fight, or almost kill.

They deserve happiness. Ignorance is the best way. If they think I don't know, then there won't be any pity.

No 'Oh poor Raphie' and such. I don't got much to offer anyway that they don't already have. So what the hell would I be able to bring to the table?

The least I can do is try to act nicer, act better. Not too much, so they get any ideas of me 'knowin' about them.

The fact is they don't want me in that way. And to be honest...I can't really blame them for that. Again, why the hell would they? An energetic goofball like Mikey with a pretty fuckin' big heart, a soft & caring type of guy like Donnie-boy, and ole Fearless himself...which honestly, he's the type of guy whose got his head on straight.

And it's not in that whole 'oh how dare they. Leo, Mikey, Don, ya bastards, how dare you' blah, blah, blah bullshit kind of way.

That's not what I want at all. Me going "It's not Fair" like an emo kid.

That's the thing. It IS fair. Mikey...Leo...Donnie. They've put up with a lot of shit in life. Especially from me.

Let them be happy. I want them to be happy. And the thing is, me not being in their way, with THAT kind of business...it IS the way to make them happy. They don't need to feel bad by saying No and stuff. Guilt's the last thing those guys' need. And like I already said!

I don't deserve that 'pity' shit from them! Not for a god damn monster who could...I mean I...Shit!

I couldn't help but chuckle again, here I am getting angry in my own damn hammock. But I quiet down pretty quickly, and just think. And think. And think.

I couldn't help but look over my hammock. Although it was dark, I could just feel where my sais were at.

I'm gonna watch their backs. Make sure they keep what the three of them have going. No matter what it takes.

I squeeze the bottle in my hand.

Someone once said, 'When you're pushed, killin's as easy as breathin'.'

The Foot. Purple Dragons. Whoever and whatever. I'm gonna make sure those three get to enjoy each other, somethin' people up top take too damn much advantage of...and God Fucking help anyone that tries to harm them. Cause I'll sure as fuck take care of that problem.

Any. way. Possible.

I could almost see my sais, picturing them across the way, as I set my bottle down and ease my head back.

No matter what, my three brothers will be happy! And they'll be safe, whether it be from the outside world or...

...From Me.

I ease my eyes shut, as all I wanna think about now is Sleep.

Sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The Outsider: Chapter 2 - Mornings

Pairing: Leo/Mikey/Don, Raph/By Himself Rating: R

Summary: How does one cope with being an Outsider of your own family? For Raph, it's simple. His family is happy: Deal With It.

Author's Note: I'm glad you folks enjoyed The Outsider, so I have decided to continue with the story and see where it takes me.

Chapter Summary: Morning Thoughts and Morning Looks

Mornings.

It seems my muscles pop outta the skin when I stretch over this hammock. I clench my toes a few times and move my neck a bit. A particular crack makes my eyes ease open a bit more, as I continue the sounds of crackling...this time my knuckles.

I sit up on my hammock, letting my legs dangle for a bit, as my hands rub my face up and down for a bit. I can't help but feel the scars of my hands across my skin.

When I pull my hands away from my face, I look down at my hands. Turn them over a bit, back and forth. Some of the scars are faint from fights long ago. Others are fresh new ones from just days ago.

I'll probably head out tonight for some of that business. Maybe some of da scars will get some pals ta join them after tonight. I look down and smirk a bit at the bottle from last night. Ain't gonna let that go to waste.

Sippin' it, it's a bit warm. Not too bad though. Although when it's a bit warmer, it's not much of a sippin' kind of thing. I take a decent-sized swig and..

Shit! It might not be too bad, but it ain't too good either. Probably just put it back in the fridge, let it cool for a bit. I'll bring it back out before I head out tonight.

Damn.

I look towards my door, and it might as well be covered with bugs, spider, and all sorts of stuff. It fuckin' sucks when I get to da point that I don't even want to leave the damn room.

They're yer family Raph, so grow a pair. I take a few breaths in and out, my chest risin' as I can imagine what kinda looks they'll give each other today. Somedays it's easier to ignore them. I read a newspaper or such and try to act dumb. Other times I just grumble a bit and then go to the workout bench. But then dose days where I can see them just, what the fuck's the word...would Shine be the right way?

Well, considering the three of them would be in the same bed, why the hell wouldn't they be shinin'? I know I would.

Yeah...I would...

Alright, knock the crap off man. No Emo stuff at least until AFTER Breakfast, fer cryin' out loud.

I ease the door open and walk towards the bathroom. I swear, lately I've been seein' this room as much as my own room. Thankfully no one's in there right now, as I walk in and let the faucet run.

I can still picture that moment from last night, me almost picking a fight with my own reflection. But mornings? It's a big of the 'Quiet' Factor.

See, pretty much it's the night time where most of these, I guess you'd call Bigger feelin's come out. Maybe it helps that pretty much everyone is asleep. But at this time, the 'Quiet Factor' starts. We're ninjas, it's our job to keep quiet. Stick to da shadows. Avoid and don't get found out.

Of course, with me I'd rather just bash the fucker's head in. So, I guess you'd say I get both worlds. In the mornings, I throw out the 'Ninja' part of me, while at night I throw out the 'Fuck It' part of me and let loose. Sometimes not in the way I want to...

Well, a lot of times not in the way I want to. Like trying to curse out a mirror. Sometimes I just go to the Punching Bag, and it feels like I'd be there forever just poundin' and poundin' away. Then the Nightmares, of course.

Fuckin' Nightmares. Need to get over dis stuff before they notice somethin's up.

I give a little slap to my cheek, waking me up a bit more, as I finally head out to the dinner table. Yep, the gang's all here. I head straight to the fridge, not trying to look anyone in the eye.

At least, at first...

Need to put this bottle in the fridge, freeze that sucker up for a bit. I could feel Leo's eyes on me, or more than likely on the bottle I had in my hand. I roll my eyes as I feel that look from behind me, but I fight to ignore tryin' to start something up. Least for now.

I settle down and hear a warm "Hey Raphie" from Mikey, I turn and grumble out a hi as I hear the knucklehead chuckle.

I decide to throw out a quick, "Don't call me Raphie." That got a chuckle out of Donnie-boy. Hell, dis was nice. Mikey was nice enough to say Hi. Donnie chuckled at something I said. Even Leo at least didn't start any shit about the bottle I head.

Things. Small things like dat. It's why I'm glad they're happy. Why I don't wanna ruin anything these guys got goin'. Complicate things, ya know?

Mmm, at least Mikey's cookin' today. Gotta say, the kid can cook up a storm. Eggs and Bacon for today, not bad at all. The eggs feel warm in my mouth, sorta a soothing motion down my throat. Pretty good.

I look up and around the kitchen. Then my eyes catch the microwave, and then I notice it.

Hell, it wasn't like an outta the blue thing, ya know? But the microwave can cast some reflection from it, and I squint my eyes a bit.

Mikey's staring at Donnie, and I could barely glimpse a hand reachin' under the table. Probably to touch Don's thigh, at least as sly as the kid can try to manage. I try to keep my eyes to the eggs as much as possible, but when I glance up at that microwave again, I can see Donnie and Mikey sharing a look in that reflection. More importantly, it was a sorta wink the two shared with each other.

I don't know why that made my hand on the fork squeeze a bit. Fuck do ya expect Raph, they spent time last night! Probably like a 'thanks' and such.

What'd you expect, one to blow the other on top of the table while I'm eatin' bacon between my teeth?

They're pretty sweet though. Not too shabby.

I eat a few pieces of bacon, and I decide to grab a few more from the middle. But then I see Donnie staring back at Fearless, and Fearless starin' back at him. Leo had this sorta, well to be honest, dumb-lookin' smile across his face. Just a little one, but I could notice it. Donnie on the other hand had a bit of a twinkle in his eyes.

Wouldn't be surprised if the two started playin' some damn footsie under the table or whatever.

My eyes sort of glaze over, lookin' at nothing in particular. Sometimes, ya kinda wonder what person you are, and what kinda person you want to be. When decision after decision enter yer brain and you wonder what kind of person should you be. But if that's the case, would you be lyin' to yourself? Ya wonder how you hear about these people. They get married, and then divorced. Did they know each other before hand? Love each other? If so, how come the fuck people can't deal with it?

Were they pretendin' to be something they weren't ta start with...and if that's the case, how long would it take for it to wear off and the truth comes out? I guess you can only spend so long lyin' to yourself, let alone someone else, before it catches up and bites you on the ass. But does that mean you should just say 'Fuck it' and try ta change for the bettah? Or stick with the whole 'what you know, what you are' type of thinkin'...

I already know what I am...but...oh shit!

Although I hear Leo and Don talking about common stuff, I see Mikey. Staring at me.

Those blue eyes are focused on me. Kid has some strange look in this eyes. Studyin' me for somethin'. This is where it gets tricky.

Damn idiot, went into my own fuckin' brain fart and the knucklehead's noticing something. If I act too nice, he'll definitely know something is up. Although I don't wanna act too damn mean.

But...

"Hey! Knucklehead, just been thinkin'. Think you burnt this damn bacon of yours, or you just do it to mine, eh?"

Mikey snaps his head back a bit, and then gets a bit of a pouty face.

I can't help but smile inside. Good, at least he ain't doin' that whole 'studying' thing on me.

"I Did Not Raph! There's nothing wrong with it! And you sure weren't complaining when you stuffed the rest of it in your mouth."

"Suuuure Mikey, I'm just eatin' it all so that ya don't poison Brainiac & Fearless with dis stuff."

Leo couldn't help but get a bit mad at me for messing with Mikey, telling him that the Bacon was in fact good. Donnie pretty much kept quiet, like he usually does. Then I felt a bit of bacon hit me in the face, I look up and I see Mikey squinting at me.

"You throw that at me Mikey?"

"Yes! You've challenged the honor of my Bacon-making skills, and it will not go unpunished!"

"Mikey, throw another one again and I'll stuff every one of dem down yer throat. All at once."

Well, the kid didn't throw one. He just threw the whole damn bowl of it at me! And with a girlie shriek, the goofball ran for it as I chased after him. I could hear Leo and Don sigh as I chased Mikey out of the kitchen.

The kid's fast. Too damn fast! Of course, the kid couldn't help but egg me on about how slow and how much more I needed to work out to get quote 'in League' with his skills. I try to ease myself back. I mean hell, this was all my damn doing anyway. I was finally able to catch the bugger, if barely, as we wrestled a bit on the floor.

It ended with me pinning him to the floor.

And shit! Not a good idea.

I could stare into those blue eyes, get lost in them. They were playful and bright as fuck. The soft skin as I held his arms down, and the shaking of breath from the bit of exercise we were doin'...

If there is some kind of thing up there in the sky, don't let me harden and waddle outta here like a duck.

But then a flash came.

In my head, like someone took a picture. Those blue eyes weren't bright anymore. Now they were hollow. Playfulness was instead movements of fear. My bro's plastron is cracked with blood seeping through it, and I could hear Leo and Don screaming at me in horror, the words saying "What did you do?"

What did I do?

And then I shake my head and look down.

Nothing.

No blood, or fear or nothin'. Just Mikey lookin' up at me, confused and tilting his head to the side.

"Hey, uh...Raph? You ok?"

God damn, that voice was sincere. Too damn sincere. I get up a bit too quickly and then settle my hands on my head.

"Yeah, beer didn't agree with me last night. That's all. C'mon goofball, don't get dem eggs cold and such. 'Kay? I got a bit of hangover medicine back in my room, ain't nothin'."

I pull his arm but he hesitates. I look back and Mikey is giving me that damn 'studyin' look again.

"Ya know kid, if ya take a picture, it'll last a lot longer. Don't make me headlock yer ass back into that kitchen. You know Donnie and Fearless, they'll have my shell if I don't get yer ass back in there. So c'mon."

I finally pull the knucklehead back to the entrance of the kitchen, giving him a shove. I playfully said,

"Alright goofball, yer picking that bacon up. Not me. And enjoy them damn eggs with Leo and Donnie, alright?"

I chuckle a bit, it was still fun to mess with Mikey for a bit. Of course, I coulda sworn I heard something under Mikey's breath. I ask him quickly what it was, but he said nothing.

Easing back into my room, I was ready to shoot myself for being THAT fuckin' dumb. All the shit I was talkin' about last night, and I'm ready to fly it out the window or something?

Picking up a magazine and easing back on my hammock, I just couldn't help but wait until tonight. Teach some punks some lessons. But yeah, this morning coulda gone a bit better. Fuck man...

Mornings.

I couldn't help it, it just spilled out! But thankfully Raphie-boy didn't hear me at all. As he walked away and entered his room, I couldn't help but stare at his door. So many things went through my head, but I just couldn't really put anything together. It was like a hundred thoughts in a row, and Dude it was making my head hurt! But I still looked at Raph's room, bits and pieces and looks running in my head. As I went back into the kitchen, I could still remember...

I still remember hearing Raph say, "Alright goofball, yer picking that bacon up. Not me. And enjoy them damn eggs with Leo and Donnie, alright?"

And I still remember hearing myself mumble,

"Not without you."


	3. Chapter 3

The Outsider: Chapter 3 - Silence

Pairing: Leo/Mikey/Don, Raph/By Himself Rating: R

Summary: How does one cope with being an Outsider of your own family? For Raph, it's simple. His family is happy: Deal With It.

Chapter 3 Summary: A Run Out At Night, Leads to Threats and Blood. He just wished for some Silence.

Silence.

Sometimes that was nice ta listen to. Donnie had headed out to the junkyard while Mikey had annoyed Fearless enough to play his video games. The whoopin and hollerin' from the knucklehead, mixed with Leo's voice complainin, made me chuckle. But I just needed a bit of silence. Calm my head on certain stuff.

Thankfully it was night time now, so I grabbed the now-cold bottle from the fridge and threw out a quick, "I'm headin' out for a while" ta Leo over there.

Leo was gonna say somethin' about it, but it looked like Mikey whispered a few things to him and Leo let it go.

Whatever the kid said, I'm definitely thankful for it.

I ran through the sewers, for a hell of a long time. Then I got to a little spot, which had a little grate that I could see through and look outside. Nice night. I couldn't help but sit down and just close my eyes, while I rolled my neck in a circle and just wanted to...well...not think about stuff.

I couldn't help but grip my sais as I just picked a spot in the sky and stared at it. Like some damn answer would come outta there and bop me on the head, or slap me in the face, or whatever.

Hell, I'm talkin' about answers and I don't even know what the fuckin' question is...shit, sometimes I really don't make much sense. I roll outta the spot and head up top, hoping to find some action for tonight.

I get up top, onto the rooftops. Pretty damn nice up here. You can spot a lot of stuff. Sometimes I see bums, and wonder why the hell they ended up like dat. Then I think about all the whinin' and bitchin' I can be doin' in my head, and yet at least I got my bros. A home. Food. More than a lot of folks out there. Kinda makes me feel like shit, come to think of it.

Other times I see couples. Men and women, bouncin' around and holding hands with each other. Gee, I wonder where the hell my mind's gonna go now when I see that kind of stuff?

C'mon Raph, I'm up here to have some fun. Not this bullshit. It felt like hours, going through the city, when I finally find somethin'.

Foot members, entering some kinda warehouse. Nice. Very nice. I can't help but smirk as I ease my way off my spot, slowly hopping from one rooftop to the other until I get to the roof of that same warehouse.

Easing my legs over, I take my sai and jimmy a window open, so I can sneak inside. Not much too the place. Pretty empty, to be honest. Must be a sorta 'quick hideout' for some of these guys. They won't be here too long. I ease my legs across the floor, moving as slow as possible, as I get to some stairs. I test my foot on each one, making sure that they don't fuckin' squeak on me, as I get my sais at the ready.

I hear some talkin, so I move down to hear more. It was pretty much a three story building, and I went down da stairs to the second floor. Now it was just a long hallway, a light down at the end of it. More like down, then to the left. I get across the wall and slide my way towards it, as the voices become a bit more clearer and clearer.

Voice number 1: "...like I said, nothing yet! We've been searching building after building, block after block. Still no sign of them."

Voice number 2: "We need to find those freaks as soon as possible. Shredder has quite a few plans for them."

Voice Number 3: "So, what do we do when we actually find them? It's not like they're pushovers or anything?"

Voice Number 2: "I know that Shredder is particularly interested in the Blue one. If the others are, shall we say, part of a collateral damage, then it won't be too bad."

Voice Number 1: "As long as I get my hands on that orange one. Last time we met those turtles, he just kept talking and talking my head off! Next thing I know, I blacked out!"

Voice Number 4: "That's what you get for not paying attention!"

Voice Number 1: "Shut up! I just know that when I get my hands on that one, I'm going to rip out his voice box!"

Voice Number 2: "Fine! As long as we get the Blue one, it'll be fine. From what I understand, the Shredder would love to do some...tests...so to speak."

Voice Number 3: "So, you think he could last a week?"

Voice Number 5: "You kidding? With the stuff he's got, he's going to make that freak last for just a day. With a lot of screaming!"

They were laughing about it, as the voice number 1 then mentioned:

"Hehe, that's not bad. Maybe I'll save that orange one too. Use that stupid, annoying voice of his in a better way, eh?"

I grip my sais in my hand. My breaths go deep in and out. I know my brothers would take these jokers in a split second. so what is my blood feeling like fire? Why are my hands bruising the handles of my sais in some iron-death grip?

My eyes flash again. My head aches as tons of images keep poppin' in my head. Old nightmares, possible new ones, things in the past, fights with the Foot, injuries my family got, injuries I gave ta my own damn family, a cracked and bloody plastron, a green fist of mine against Leo's mouth, a bloody pipe lying on the ground next to Mikey, Donnie caught and tested like an animal...

I barely feel a Foot member exiting the room, right to where I'm at, as he makes a surprised-sound in his throat and slashes at me. One hits my left arm, as I feel blood go down my bicep.

Ya know, those times when ya feel it's an eternity but instead it's just a second? All I could do was watch that blood of mine come down. I had, like instinct, grabbed the fucker's hand with my left arm...but for some reason I was watching my own blood.

Blood. Red. Death. Anger. Hot Fire and Rage. Disappointment. Resentment. Love. Hate.

My family. My family's blood. On my arm. My hand.

"NO! No! We ain't doin' that, you got me fucker!"

I'm sure the Foot was both confused and scared by me. But when I thrust my sai into his stomach, and did a thrusting movement to his side, he didn't think much of anything after that.

I hurried inside the room, and I could tell that they were pretty much shocked. My family weren't really known as killers. We were known as do-gooders. Heroes.

I ain't my family. Just an Outsider. If my family would be safe and happy, then i'll proudly be that god damn Outsider.

"The thing is folks, we're assets. Expendable. Me, and you! Deal with it!"

There were probably a dozen Foot members in that room. I didn't care. I didn't care if they were confused with my outburst, horrified with my bloody appearance of both my own red fluid as well as their comrade that I gutted, or whatever the hell went through their so called 'minds'.

They rushed me. I rushed them. They never had a chance.

It was a blur. Punches and roundhouse kicks. My sai being thrown one direction, with a sickening sound followin' it. My other dancing across throats and bare skin. Some movements slice, others stab. The flesh tears open like marshmallows, and liquid flows across my face and along my body. I block one and stab into his arm, feeling like I'm going to wrench the damn thing off.

Screams and shouts fill my senses, and I feel my knuckles crack upon an assortment of bodies. Noises of broken bones and whimpering gurgles go throughout the room.

I blink as I notice a bit of silence. I stare around me, and bodies are strewn about like rag dolls. I turn and stare down on one last Foot member. He's on his ass, waddling backwards with his hands up.

I hear his voice and I recognize it. The one who didn't like Mikey's voice...

"So, you want my bro Leo that badly, eh? Wanna catch him, bring him to da Shredder so the asshole can have his way with ole' Fearless? That sound about right pal?"

The guy's talkin'. But to me it's just white noise.

"And ya guys never mention Donnie. Why? Think he's useless. A pile of nothin'. Guy does a lot. Got more brain cells that all you assholes put together."

I throw a sai into the guy's right ankle, stoppin' his movements.

"And oh...by the way. What was that you were sayin'? Bout my baby brotha? Ya know, the 'orange' one?"

The guy was tryin' to take the sai out, while begging about something.

"So if my baby bro begged, would you do somethin' about it? Or you still wanna hear him scream?"

I grab the guys hands, who was still holdin' them out.

"Bettah yet, let me hear you scream."

And with a snap, I break both of the guy's hands. The scream pulses throughout the room, and I wait. And wait, until enough was enough.

With a flick of my wrist, his throat is slit. And I turn around, and walk away. But then I pass something...

A reflection. I walk towards it, and my head shakes. Like waking up from a dream. Or a nightmare. My body is covered with red, like it was paint. I shake for a bit, looking at the mirror. My eyes go up and down slowly, and I tilt my head.

I should be scared. Freaked out. But I ain't. Not about this. If it was my family's blood, I'd be cryin' a river and ready to jump off a building. But this?

I know I can't come home like this. No fuckin' way. I look around, and with some luck there is a bathroom. I turn on the shower and let the water run over my body. I'm not much into religion, but some would say that a shower like this would be a baptism.

Yeah, more like a baptism by fire. I try to rub each and every drop part of my body, until I wince a little from the cut I have on my arm. But I got some stuff at home to fix that. My arms rub up and down my body, as the blood runs down the drain.

Blood is a bit sticky. Takes a little bit of elbow grease. But it don't matter.

They wanted to find my bros. Too bad they found me instead. If they send more...well...same shit, different day then. Although, they might be two and two togetha.

Sai stab wounds. 'Gee, how many use those?' Foot might think it WAS us. Want retaliation or somethin'. But, like I said before, they don't really think of us as killers.

They're partially right. They're not. I am!

As the water flows over me, the silence makes me close my eyes. Just the sound of water, which is not bad at all.

I open them, getting an idea. I walk out and grab a piece of one of the Foot's uniform, and tear a bit off to wrap around my arm. I then put my eyes onto the mirror, makin' sure I got all da blood off of me. Unfortunately there's nothin' around here.

But, I do got some stuff at home. I could make it. I really could.

So as I head out, I make sure to remember where exactly this warehouse is at, and then make a run for it. My breaths run ragged, but my body is on fire. My legs have a mind of their own and my arms carry myself like the wind.

I swear, it seemed like it took no time to get home. Guess that's how it is, when your mind kinda goes blank on stuff. I remember someone once said, "Grab hold of a hot pan, a second can seem like an hour. Put your hands on a hot woman, an hour can seem like a second."

Well...without the woman part, I guess...

I take a look at my arm, and venture to my room. Got some supplies. I stole some from Donnie, cause I didn't always wanna bug the guy to fix me up. For the past month, I've been trying to teach myself how to stich. I'm getting ok with it. Again, just got tired of bugging the shit outta Donnie because of every little nick and scratch that i got.

After getting the supplies, I start to head towards the bathroom. But before I do, I quickly go into one of my drawers and pull out a lighter. A gift from Casey.

He figured a guy like me should have a lighter. It 'fits my image', whatever the hell that meant.

I put the lighter in my belt, making it secure so that it don't fall out. Definitely will need that for what I gotta do. Finally, I get into the bathroom and begin stitchin' my arm up. I wince a little bit, damn sausage fingers and shit. Definitely not as good as Donnie's and it takes twice as fuckin' long.

But, it still gets done. And it's better than nothing. I'm ready to head out, but then I look at the mirror again. I swear that I caught something. I look down in the mirror, and there's still blood on my hands? The fuck?

But then I look down, away from the reflection of the mirror, and look at my actual bare hands. Clean. Well, cleanish. I turn on the faucet and rub my hands in the soothin' water for a bit.

A few shaky breaths. But c'mon pal. Hold it togther. It ain't nothin', okay? Nothin' much. Just another night.

I head towards the kitchen, to get exactly what I need to clean up the mess up top. A twelve pack of bottles, of some nice alcohol from Casey, which would need to be put to some good use. I forgot about them before, cause I was savin' them for a rainy day.

Well, it's fuckin' pouring out now. But I'm sure Casey didn't have this use in mind when he gave these to me.

Unfortunately, before I can get to it, I hear some churrs coming from the kitchen.

Shit, and I was hopin' that there'd be some damn silence in there...yeah...

Silence


	4. Chapter 4

The Outsider: Chapter 4 - Forget

Pairing: Leo/Mikey/Don, Raph/By Himself Rating: NC-17

Summary: How does one cope with being an Outsider of your own family? For Raph, it's simple. His family is happy: Deal With It.

Chapter 4 Summary: Raph's night has not been going the best. Kitchen fun, Business to take care of, a Concerned Brother, and Wanting to Forget.

Chapter 4 - Forget

Forget.

God damn, I just wanted to forget this day and get it over with...but nah. Of course. Can't do dat. Instead, I need the alcohol in that kitchen. And of course...

Churrin'. Damn Churring coming outta there.

I can't help but hear the churring pick up, as my head is close to the door. Those damn noises make my body heat up. Great, now my toes are clenching and unclenching right under my feet. I can't help but be curious.

Maybe at least I can see how far they are...see how long I gotta wait.

I ease the door open softly, and as easy as I can. And there they are. Leo and Mikey. I see Leo's pinned Mikey to the floor, and one of his hands is in between the kid's legs. He has a pumping motion going, and from Mikey's face I can put two and two together.

Great, Fearless. You're fingering our baby brother on the floor of the God Damn kitchen. And I can't tear my eyes away from it.

Mikey's churrs roll off the kid's tongue, as i can see part of his right leg kinda trembling. I can see a bit of the left one across Leo's shell, as if he's trying to wrap it around Leo. Mikey's eyes are rolled back and his breaths are heaving out, as Leo is suckling on the left of Mikey's neck.

I can see Fearless ain't too afraid of bitin', as small nips and suckles go across baby bro's neck. One of Leo's hands are fondlin' the knucklehead up and down the side of Mikey's body, while the other finger is busy pumping Mikey's ass deeper and deeper.

Shit! Shit, shit, shit.

I gotta stop myself, as my own damn hand was fondlin' my own thigh. I'm ready to laugh my ass off, because I can't even get the satisfaction of jerkin' off right now. Got other stuff ta do.

Probably later...

My eyes perk up a bit as I hear Mikey give a loud moan of Leo's name, and a cry escapes the kid's lips. It seems Leo found that spot deep within Mikey, and Fearless is definitely pumpin' that finger in and out like a piston.

Mikey's cock is glistening with precum, as Leo leans down and nips the tip. Suckles the precum right onto his tongue. I almost wanna run in there, kiss Leo, and suck the precum from right off his tongue. Leo slides his head down a bit further, putting more and more of Mikey's cock into his mouth while that finger pumps Mikey faster and faster.

I can see the knucklehead's toes curling, back and forth. They're clenching, and part of me just wants to walk in and suck each of those damn toes into my mouth. Feel them wiggle, along with that damn tail of his that I'm sure is wagging like crazy.

And damnit, part of me just wants to run in there. And do what? Part of me wants to just go up behind Leo, and push my cock deep within Leo's tight ass. Another part wants to just shove Leo aside, and put my own finger deep within Mikey. Stare into those blue eyes, as I felt the kid's warmth wrap around my finger.

Suddenly, the grip of my left hand tightens. Another image pops up. It's one of me in Mikey's place, having someone stare down at me. Someone's pushin' into me, deep in and out. I think of Fearless, staring down at me with that smugness that I either wanna punch or swallow with my mouth.

Or a pair of baby blue eyes staring down at me, giving me his all, feeling that soft skin hit that spot deep in me as Mikey whispers my name. Making me his. Just his...

And fuckin' shit, I just hypnotized myself. I had my finger rubbing my own ass! I close the door and walk away, hands rubbing my face.

"Smart move Raph, rub yer face with the same damn hand you were rubbing your ass with..."

I know it's the sewers, but shit. Despite what my bros think, I'm kinda a clean guy. Maybe when I wash up, they'll be gone from that damn kitchen.

I head towards the bathroom. I'm tellin' ya, this place is becoming my room away from my actual room. After washin' my hands, I can't help but stare and chuckle.

I know it's kinda weird. I'm a 'macho' guy and I was getting hot and bothered by being taken? Usually that shouldn't be the case. Don't tell me my dick is gonna do the complete thinkin' from now on, is it?

Well, maybe it's not really about that. Don't get me wrong, a lot of nights I'm thinkin' of pounding each of my brothers' asses. Nice and slow, not wantin' to hurt them.

But seeing someone want ya that much? To the point they'd hold you down and do whatever they wanted to you? That's a trust thing. You trust each other enough that, well, pretty much anything goes.

Nothing about being insane, or weak, or useless, or any kinda word in the Emo Dictionary. Just trust. And hell, I trust all of my bros. I really do.

Although, it is kinda weird that it was Mikey doing that, which got me worked up the most. Holy Shit, maybe I am really going insane, hehehe.

Okay, enough of this shit.

I walk out, and lo and behold there's no churring in the kitchen. Guess they took their 'show' to the bedroom. I walk into the kitchen, that certain musk goes throughout the kitchen. Damn thing almost makes my legs shake, but I rock my head back and forth.

Now is Not the time.

I finger the lighter in my belt, and then raid the fridge.

'Sorry Case, I know this is some good shit. But it's gotta go for another cause.'

I grab the stuff and head out as quickly as I can. Wasted enough damn time. My walk through the sewers feels a hell of a lot longer than before. I don't know if my mind wanted to go blank, or fill all of these images into my brain until it explodes.

Probably the blank part, since along the way I bump into something. More like someone.

More like Donny.

"Hey Raph, what are you doing out so late?" I could feel the Brainiac look down at my hand. The alcohol probably told a number of reasons without me sayin' a word.

"Nothin'. Just figure I'd head out and relax. Knock a few back. That's all."

"Raph. Just, please don't get too intoxicated. It's not very fortunate for your health, and..."

"Alright Donnie, alright. I getcha, I promise it won't be too much, alright?"

I can't help but be somewhat mesmerized by Donnie. I was thinkin' so much of Leo and Mikey before, but I could never forget Donnie. The guy's a sweetheart, and is pretty somethin'. He wouldn't annoy me with pranks like Mikey, or piss me off like Leo. Instead he just offers a little bit of an ear, a little bit of a touch on his hand, and a smile.

Just like now. I feel him take my hand into his, and he squeezes a little. There's some kind of smile on his face, and he's giving me a look. Almost like the same look Mikey gave me before.

I kinda wonder, if they have some idea that I know about them. Oh, maybe that's it?

Maybe they're afraid I'd hate them? Like 'how dare you guys be gay'. Or maybe they feel bad, because they want each other and not me?

I don't really blame them for that, again I'm not really the big prize at the Fourth of July or some shit. But they ain't heartless bastards either.

I ain't gonna hate them. I'll support them, get their backs. So I squeeze my hand with his, and decide to blurt it out.

"Donnie? You got somethin' to say to me? It's alright Donnie. You can talk ta me."

And he could. A lot of times in the past, it was easy to talk to Don. And vice versa. Granted, I'd probably consider Mikey as my best bud. We had a lot of fun goofing off and doing all sorts of stuff.

But Donnie, he was the kind of guy who was easy to talk to and say something. Especially something really important.

And so I wait. And wait. And wait. Not sure if some kinda hope was trying to burn its' way from under my skin or whatnot. And hope for what? For the impossible perhaps?

'Raph I love you! Raph, we all want you. Raphie, kiss me!'

"Raph! What happened? Where did you get these stitches?"

Wait, that last one wasn't in my head, was it?

Ah shit. That's right, the stiches I did because of the fight from earlier.

"Don't worry Egghead, I got it. See? No biggie. Just a little thing."

My eyes squint a little...another, different kinda look goes onto Donnie's eyes. What is that, a hurt look?

"But Raph...I mean, I could have looked at that for you! What if it was infected from the sewer water down here, or what if..."

"Donnie! Relax. I've been teachin' myself for a while. On how to stitch and stuff. Besides, it's not like I should be going to ya every time I get a cut, ya know? Otherwise I'd be with you 24/7, eh?"

I chuckle a bit. It seems my question from before wasn't going to be answered. I hear Donnie mumble something, but when I ask he says that it's 'nothin'.

'Damn, what is it with you guys and mumblin' shit? First Mikey, then Donnie.'

I brush pass and give a wave. Definitely gotta finish some business. Wasted too much time. It's weird, but for some reason it's like I feel eyes behind me. But when I look behind me, Donnie's already heading back towards the lair. Looks like the guy got a bit of goodies from the junkyard.

(Don's POV)

I wanted to say it. I really did! I wanted to tell Raph would all of us had been talking with each other about. I know that Leo and I had wanted Raph to be part of this, well, 'thing that we were doing'.

Mikey especially. He was pretty much bouncing off the walls and constantly asking us 'When? When? When?' Although I know that he's very fond of Leo and me, I could tell that Mikey was particularly fond of Raph.

Thus why Mikey wouldn't let Leo and I do, well, Certain things with him. But Leo was right. It was Leo who had told me, and thus we told Mikey, that we had to be very careful in this matter.

Like Leo said, it's lucky enough that three of us not only happened to be gay, but also involved with what would be called an 'incestuous relationship' with one another.

But all four of us feeling the same way about each other? And Leo had a point. Raph was a very 'tough' as well as 'macho' guy. Although, I can still think of discussions Mikey and I had with each other about Raph. He definitely had a big heart underneathe that tough exterior, and it was always welcoming when he shared it with me during our quiet talks.

Those were always nice. I miss those. I must try to at least fit that back into my schedule, it's just been so hectic! My experiments in the lab, the test I still have to do...as well as the times I've been spending with Mikey and Leo.

When Leo and I had this discussion of going to the others. It was tough. Very tough. We barely even had the guts to tell Mikey about it, let alone our relief when he said yes to this.

I know Mikey has really been against this 'not going to Raph right now' choice that we had made. But I agreed with Leonardo on the deal.

We'll tell Raph, when we tell Splinter. When he gets back from his trip.

That way we can gauge Raph's reaction! Although, the way Mikey has been talking to me about Raph's behavior, could it be perhaps he does know what we are doing?

It is a very confusing, as well as delicate, situation. Although Mikey, at times, would get extremely mad at us, I still stand by Leo's decision.

Leo had put it best to me, in this matter.

'A hopeful Maybe is better than a definitive No.'

I know it pains Leo as well as it does me. And truthfully, I think Leo is just as scared as I am. We do love each other...but we also love both Mikey and Raph. And when I looked at Leo's eyes, when he made this decision to not tell Raph, I could see the truth. The real truth.

For Leo, just like me, Raph saying 'No, I don't want to be a part of this' would be heartbreaking. As well as soul crushing. It's ironic that Raph calls him 'Fearless', when that's just simply not the case.

And I almost, and I mean barely, could hang on tonight.

When Raphie looked at me and asked, "Donnie? You got somethin' to say to me? It's alright Donnie. You can talk ta me."

God, I just wanted to throw every caution to the wind. Damn the consequences. Even if Raph was confused, or disgusted, it didn't matter!

But I couldn't, and when I eyed his stiches only my brother's health was my concern.

And he's been teaching himself? He's not a burden. He's not! Why didn't I say that? For a genius, I'm pretty dense sometimes.

As I brought my findings from the junkyard to the lair, all I could do was remember my last words to Raph.

He had said, "Besides, it's not like I should be going to ya every time I get a cut, ya know? Otherwise I'd be with you 24/7, eh?"

And I had simply said, "I'd like that."

(Back to Raph's POV Again)

I finally got back to the damn place. The warehouse was really beginning to stink, that stink of death that seemed to be painting the floors and walls of this place.

I try to make quick work, dumping each and every drop of the alcohol over each body. I just hoped that I had enough. I make little trails from one to the other, throw splashers onto the walls, and I go throw each and every bottle.

I ease my feet across the floor, as I take a piece of fabric from one of the Foot soldiers at my feet. I take the lighter outta my belt, and let the flame dangle across the fabric for a bit.

I can feel the flame, almost wantin' to stare at it for hours and hours.

Orange. A nice, bright orange. A good color.

I ease my body back and toss the flamed fabric, watching as the fire dances across the floor. Like an animal, the thing eats all in its' path. I can almost hear the thing roar, as the head blisters and I know that's my time to get the hell out. I climb out the window, get to the roof, and hightail it outta there.

But I don't go too far. I stand on a rooftop, which is still quite a bit away, but close enough for me to watch. The flames go higher and higher, as I can hear the noise of fire trucks way off in the distance. I remember when I watched a movie with Mikey, called Backdraft. The kid said that I'd make a good firefighter.

Thought it was kinda strange that he said that. But, well, Mikey's always been kinda strange. Which is actually good, now that I think about it.

I just watch the flames dance along the air, can almost feel that stuff reflected in my own eyeballs, as I put my hands over my head and rub it long, good, and hard.

'*Sighs* Long, good, and hard? Great wordin' there Raph.'

All I know is that I'm gonna go home, head to bed, and hope I can just forget this shit tonight. Yeah, just another typical night for Raphael.

Yeah, sleep sounds good. At least night I'll just pass out and sleep. And hopefully nothin' else. Just sleep, and...

Forget.


	5. Chapter 5

The Outsider: Chapter 5 - Tired

Pairing: Leo/Mikey/Don, Raph/By Himself

Summary: How does one cope with being an Outsider of your own family? For Raph, it's simple. His family is happy: Deal With It.

Chapter 5 Summary: A Nightmare, a Night on Patrol, and an Unfortunate Event...

Chapter 5 - Tired

Tired.

Been about a week since that...incident, I guess is what you'd call it. Maybe two.

Damn, why is that becomin' such a blur now? Has it been two weeks?

I haven't been getting much sleep. Seems like da dreams been gettin' a little bit worse. That's why I've been wantin' to go out more.

Sometimes, on these nights out, not much happens to be honest. Other times, it can get more...bloody.

I used to be havin' a lot of cold showers. Now I'm have a lot of warm ones. Although, something weird has been feelin' on the back of my head.

Eyes. It's like, ya know when someone says they got 'Eyes on the back of their head?'

Well, it's kinda like that? But different. Yeah, I know that don't make much sense. But it's like I Feel something there. Or someone. But then when I turn around and look, there's nothin' there.

I think it has been a little over a week since that 'thing' happened with the Foot. Sometimes I'm somewhat careful when I go out, dealing with these thugs. Unfortunately sometimes, that ain't the case.

But the scratches and cuts aren't too bad. Little pad here, or a little bandage there. Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I can't tell which is which.

The blood, I mean. We can all be so damn different...but blood is always the same. The Same Feel. The Same Color.

And those damn eyes. Sometime it's when I come back and try to sneak by everyone late at night. Other times, it's when a nightmare creeps from the back of my skull. But whichever it is, it feels like someone is tryin' to become my damn shadow.

I hope I'm not losing it THAT much. Great, I'll be packed up to the funny farm in no time by the way I'm keepin' this up.

I rub my hands up and down my face, and try to breathe. Damn nightmare this time was, well, pretty shitty to be honest.

'Gee, ya think? I'd thought it was gonna be sunshine and roses?'

It was a dream that started off well. It was all four of us, in bed together. We all couldn't help but keep some big, giant smiles on all of our faces. Touches here, being felt up there. I could feel Leo along my waist, massaging my plastron up and down. Slowly, and carefully.

Donnie was at my feet, and he was kinda studying my thighs with his tongue while his hands rolled over each of my toes. And Mikey?

He was up above me. His hands were smoothing over my neck. His blue eyes were staring deep into me, as if to try to watch what's in my brain. Ya know, like inside he'd see some little guy with a projector at a movie theater. Ready to play the 'Coming Attractions' which had every thought and idea that I had playing on the screen.

And the kid's hands rubbed over my lips, as his tongue slowly kissed my left cheek. His tongue twirled slowly in circles, all the way over my mouth.

All the while I could feel Donnie slowly leaning and lapping up each of my toes, while Leo was now fondling my cock out into the open. He took a bit of precum that was oozing out onto one of his fingers, and looked at Mikey.

Mikey looked back and leaned over, suckling my precum from Leo's finger. I looked down and saw Donnie watch Mikey's mouth, as the knucklehead's tongue rolled over each and every spot of Leo's finger.

Mikey moaned at the taste of me, as I felt the vibes of Donnie's moan as he churred over my toes. I closed my eyes, as I felt Mikey's hands rub right below my neck.

And then my eyes shot wide open, like if ya heard a gunshot. I felt...fuck, could still Feel...all three pairs of their hands grab me and turn me over.

Their voices mixed in with each others', saying stuff like 'This is for your own good' or 'This is what you deserve, Raphie-boy'.

I feel all sorts of stuff wrap me, almost suffocate me, and then I look down. I was completely tied up!

I get pissed, wonderin' what the fuck's happening and what's going on! But now none of them are smiling. I get no answer, and instead I'm grabbed and pulled out of the room.

Hard.

I get slammed onto a table, which I had never seen before. It had wheels, and as I tried to get up I could feel Leo's hands on my head. A hard slam sent my head down onto the back of the table.

I was dazed, shakin' my head, and just altogether really confused. I tried to talk, but I then felt Donnie grab my face. Pieces of fabric were roughly tied around my mouth. Lookin' up, it was easy to figure out what that fuckin' gag was...

None of them had their masks now. It seemed they took all three, gave them to Donnie, and now the 'result' was tied around my god damn mouth!

I'm shakin', trying to say anything I could from my mouth! And they all had that same look.

Disappointment? Shame? Shame of what, of me? Did they know what I did? What I was doin' in the outside world? Was it some kinda shame that build up over time?

Like writin' a story. A word becomes a sentence. And it ain't much. But then all of a sudden, it becomes a goddamn three hundred page novel. Like a burst of a damn that breaks, and somethin' little becomes something so massive that you drown from it.

And that's what it felt like. Drowning. My muscles don't seem like they're enough to break off of this fuckin' table!

I try to look up, get my surroundings and shit. But Mikey grabs my throat in a death grip, pushes me back, and pulls a strap. Ties it really tight around me, so now I can't even move my head!

I don't even know where we're going. The ceiling of the lair disappeared long ago. And now it don't even seem like the tunnels of the sewer anymore. Why is it becoming lighter? Whiter?

My eyes keep flashin' on everything! All at once.

Blood, tears, yells, fights. Of my enemies, my brothers, my friends. Good times filter in, but the bad times are like, overwhelming me or somethin'...I don't know if I wanna black out or what...

But my eyes see straight once we stop. I feel the straps all over me being yanked off, my gag is pretty much torn away from my mouth, and I'm pushed towards the wall of the room. I still can't too much, almost like I was paralyzed.

My muscles wake up when those three pair of hands try to grab me again. My instinct kicks in, fighting and tryin' to throw them off. But it ain't enough.

It's not enough!

I feel them all push me down, and force something around me. It feels like it's suffocating me, as I feel my arms pulled tightly around the back of my shell. Strings are pulled tighter and tighter, until I'm thrown again into the wall.

Padded. Why are these walls padded?

I turn around, and I see Mikey is the last one leaving. As he closes the door, I run as fast as I can and bang the entire force of my body against the door.

And finally, my voice finally reaches my throat. And I can only think of one question.

"Why?!"

There's a hole through the door. More like an peephole. Just enough for me to watch and see them.

I see Leo and Donnie staring at me, with dark looks on their faces. Mikey is in front of them, and staring directly at me.

He pulls somethin' from his belt, and holds it right in front of the door.

A pipe. Bloodied, used, and damaged.

"This is what you deserve, right Raphie-boy? It's how you feel, right? You said it yourself. You're crazy, dude!"

I stumble back, and then that's when I look down.

A straight jacket. They put a fuckin' straight jacket on me!

I run towards the door again, and look through the peephole. They're walking away from me.

They're turning away from me!

I yell, I scream. Fuck, I even beg! And nothin'. My body kinda went on autopilot after that. Thousands of stuff going through my head, and my legs stumble towards the ground. All I could was look up, and cry.

Yeah, I actually cried. And it felt like the walls slowly got closer. And closer. And closer.

And I didn't care. By the time the walls and ceiling were two inches away from me, I still didn't give a fuck. Darkness was approaching.

And I welcomed it.

Then the dream ended. And god damnit, I wish I still had Casey's fuckin' alcohol in supply.

Gotta bug him him to get me more of that stuff. After that, I REALLY need a drink.

A Big One.

Almost on cue, I hear Mikey yell, "Hey Raph! Breakdfast time! Get up Grumpy Head, or I swear I'm seeing a Water Balloon in your future!"

Mikey's tryin' to be funny. He's tryin' to be nice.

So why the fuck ain't I smiling...

******* (Night Time) ********

Finally, it's about damn time. We're all gonna go on patrol this night. Although, it was kinda weird today.

Donnie gave me a few more pats on the shoulder than usual. Leo gave me a few more smiles during training. And Mikey?

The kid bugged me to play video games with him. Sure, why not?

Well, because sometimes I think the little fucker cheats. Yeah, I know and I know. That's pretty damn harsh. But he cheats! I know it!

Still, he does get me to smile for a bit. Mikey's got that kinda magic to him. It makes me wanna kick myself for the dream I had.

'C'mon, ya think Mikey could really do that to you?'

But damn...it was still pretty intense.

I was deep in thought, when I felt a hand grasp my own. It squeezed slowly and softly, and I looked up. Those damn blue eyes. They had worry in them.

"Raphie? Anything on your mind dude? You know, you can always talk to me. I can listen! Now don't give me that look, I really can! Or, okay, let's make a deal. Right now I can listen, and actually Do It this time. Deal?"

He puts his hand out, like he wants to shake on it. His smile is goofy, but his eyes are serious. That's the thing about the kid. He's more serious than we let on. That's the thing, a lot of things can lie to you. But eyes? Not really. And Mikey's are always crystal clear.

He can put on the fakest god damn smile ever. But his eyes, he can't fake that. And I can alwways see through it. I look at his hand. I wanna take it, I should take it.

Fuck it, why shouldn't I take it? Heh, yeah.

'Hey Mikey! I killed some folks, had dreams of killin' or hurting you all, wanna fuck yer brains out, and just dreamed you were a psycho putting me in a straight jacket. Let's play games!'

So if I'm thinkin' that...then why the fuck is the other part putting my hand up and is now inches from shaking Mikey's hand?

But then I hear Leo's voice. Patrol is ready. Mikey makes a huge, over the top moan about it. And I quickly put my hands down. I get up, a little too quickly. But I feel Mikey grab my arm.

"Hey. So, uh, is it a deal?"

I look at him, and I see Leo and Donnie pile in. If I shake his hand now, questions get brought up. Mikey could just easily spill the beans on it, and then Leo & Donnie would get involved.

'Something's wrong? What's wrong? Are you hurt? What is it?'

If it was hard enough to even Think of telling one, ya really think it'd be easy to tell all three?

I softly say, "Maybe later."

That was pretty much the end of that...

Patrol wasn't much. Leo was leading, Mikey was jokin', Donnie was being smart and shit, and I was brooding.

Then we saw some Purple Dragons. Didn't seem much. About two dozen of them, and we could easily beat them.

And we did? Like it said though, it didn't SEEM much. Leo was being the expert, Donnie was using his bo like a Expert baseball player, and Mikey was doing his best Bruce Lee imitaton.

What can I say, the knucklehead's been watching 'Enter the Dragon' and 'Return of the Dragon' way too damn much.

Me? I was holdin' back. But it seemed like some of the Purple Dragons were a bit more...scared of me?

They were avoidin' me, and trying to go after my brothers. I went up to some of them, and I swear they were ready to piss their pants. Two of them took a good look at me, and then ran as fast as they could. They even ran right past Mikey AND Leo.

"Hey, come back! C'mon, Raphie's ugly but he's not THAT ugly."

I couldn't help but grumble at Mikey's 'joke'.

Fuck...could they know? Could someone know what I've been doin'? Is that why? How the fuck could they know? Did some of them watch me and then head back to tell the others?

Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one that wasn't payin' attention to shit.

Now, don't get me wrong. Mikey is a damn good fighter. He beat my ass, as much as I hate to admit it. It's why he's the damn Battle Nexus Champion. Twice! He's faster than shit.

But we ain't all perfect. And sometimes? The kid gets a little carried away. Ain't watchin' what he should be fuckin' watchin!

And I see it! One of the Purple Dragon bastards got a fucking gun on him. I can see he's aiming at Mikey. Leo and Donnie are yelling.

But not me. Instead of yellin', I'm moving. I push Mikey away just as the gunshot erupts.

And I look down. Mikey's on his back, and I see blood. Blood everywhere!

On his body, on his face! His eyes are closed.

"Mikey! Mikey!"

I turn. He killed him. You killed him didn't you? You weren't fast enough? You weren't strong enough!

I look at the son of a bitch. He sees that it's ME going after him, and it's like he's seen a ghost.

Well, it ain't a ghost. I'm a God Damn Demon!

I rush at him. I hear shots and cries from my brothers, but I can't hear. I can't think of anything but Mikey! Mikey and this guy. And how this guy was gonna pay.

Words fly out of my mouth, as I slam the sucker's body into the wall. I flip him over and grab my sais. I plunge down onto both of his knees. Over and over again.

His cries grow deaf to me. All noise goes deaf to me. I punch his face, like an animal. Rage fills my veins, and tears erupt from my eyes.

"You killed him you bastard! Why? Why? Why did you do it, huh?"

My sais then plunge into his arms, and I twist. Hard, fast, and rough!

"Why'd we do it huh? Almost killing him wasn't enough! We had to finish the job, huh!?"

I then jump over him, and roughly grab his throat. And all I can do is squeeze. And squeeze! And squeeze EVEN. FUCKING. TIGHTER!

"WHY DID WE KILL HIM, MOTHERFUCKER!"

And with a strong rip, his throat caves. I hear his throat, or what was left of it, spurt out blood. His hunk of flesh hangs limply in my right hand, and it drops to the ground.

I look down, and the guy's eyes try to travel to mine. All I see is a pile of skin, and a torn out throat.

Now a person. Not a living thing. Just a pile of Nothing! And all I do is spit at him, and then I turn.

And there's my brothers. All three of them, staring at me in a mix of shock and terror.

Wait? All three? Mikey!

"Mikey. You-You're alive? But, the blood. I saw you bleeding!"

Mikey approaches me, blood over his face and body. He's reachin' out to me.

"Ra-Raphie! It's...it's Not My Blood..."

All I could do was say a confused, 'What?' And then I look down.

Well, shit.

My left shoulder has, well, kinda a big hole in it. A bullet hole. I got shot? How come I ain't feelin' anything?

Fuck!

Great, now I'm feelin' it. My legs give out, and the pain travels from my shoulder and all over my fucking shell!

My body is shaking, and shit I feel weak!

I'm ready to fall over, until I hear a yell of my name and I feel someone catching me.

It's Mikey. He's cupping my face with tears in his eyes. Donnie's at my feet, lookin' through his duffel bag. And Leo's next to me, holding my waist and keeping me still.

Oh no, oh no!

Donnie's at my feet. Leo's holding my waist! And Mikey's cupping my face! Just like my dream.

Like my fuckin' dream!

I'm on my back now, and my mouth is having a mind of its' own. All I can remember is saying,

"Please! Don't put me away! Please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

Voices come from my bros' mouths, but I can't understand them. I think Mikey's yellin' at me.

Mikey? Are you yelling at me? Are you scared of me? I chuckle. Any other time, I don't think I'd take a 'Mikey' that was yelling at me. I know I'm ready to pass out. Maybe for a bit. Maybe for good.

So many things to think of, and what comes to my mind before I'm out?

I'm tired. I wanna sleep. I want...good dreams. I...want soft...skin on me. I want...heh...kisses are good. Not bad at all...I'm...

I'm just...

Tired.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - Pain

Pain.

Damn, it was flowin' through my body. But like in spurts. Sometimes I heard sounds. Noises. I think it was my bros. Mikey? Are you still yellin' again? Don't think it's at me though. If it is, it sounded pretty far away.

Sometimes I wonder about the drugs Donnie would pump into me. I trust the guy more than anythin', but drugs can be weird thing. It's why I always hated them. Sometimes they make ya too damn tired to move. Hate that feelin', being helpless and such. Other times it just makes me feel weird. I know Donnie would say that it was side effects...I know there's a few of them.

I think I'm in a bed, probably Don's lab. Least I hope so. How long has it been? An Hour? A day? Longer?

My brain is fuzzy as all hell. Hopefully my dreams can let me kick back for a bit. Well, at least if my brain is fuzzy then that means my brain ain't dead.

It's strange. It's like colors and shapes mix into each other. And the feeling? Ya know when you feel like yer falling, and you just catch yourself...and the whole time you were on the damn bed...

It's that feelin' afterward, that's what it is...

Like, confused and such. I'm sure Don could come up with a lot more ten dollar words to explain it. I think some words come through my mouth, only I don't know what I'm sayin'.

'Great, that's great. God damn it.'

Now I said I think I'm in a bed. I say that, cause it would make the most sense. But that's not what I'm seeing right now.

It's a road. Middle of nowhere. It's daytime, and it's actually kinda nice. It's definitely a long, lonely stretch of road. The pavement is a bit hot under my feet, but clouds are slowly hangin' from the sky above. There are trees on both sides, almost like a huge, damn forest on both sides of the road. And no one in sight.

I look down one way, and it's empty. Same with the other. The hell is this supposed to be?

'It's a road, idiot. Just walk down the damn thing.'

Why not? It's my dream anyway. And if my turtle luck is on typical form, I'm sure it'll get fucked up sooner or later.

It's funny. If this was real, I'm sure I'd be thinkin' dozens of stuff. My life, my family, things in the past, and things in the future. Yet in here, I just think about what's in front of my eyes.

The Trees. The Quiet. It's kinda like at Casey's Farmhouse. When we go up there, we can just relax and sit back. Enjoy the sun for a damn change. Play tag through the woods, or wrestle around in the tiny lake nearby.

I look up, and I see Leo. Right there in the middle of the road. Can't help but be on guard, considering the dreams I've been having. But there's a soft look on the guy's face. Some words are coming from his mouth, but can't really get much of them.

I do get a bit of it.

"I really don't want to say something to piss you off. I really don't Raph."

I couldn't help but chuckle. It's rare to hear Fearless cuss. Even in the dream world.

I decide to walk by. I don't know, it'd just be weird having a damn chat with your own dream, ya know? But the guy follows...almost glides along the pavement. Leo's got a nice look to him, staring me up and down as we walk...

Well, I'm walking. Like I said, the guy's almost gliding. Not getting far away from me at all.

Then the next moment, I turn to look at him and he's gone. Well, that went swell.

Actually, it kinda did. Nothing strange. Nothing like before. Just a nice look on Leo's face. Wasn't too bad at all.

It seemed like the road was just going to keep going. What, the fuckin' road is going to open up and swallow me? Swarms of folks are gonna pop outta the forest and shit to hunt me down?

'Probably all be wearing Hockey masks and such. Heh, that's what I get from all of those 'horror movie marathons' from Mikey.'

The sky was dimming, and I couldn't help but wonder what would happen next. My family come up and tie me up again? Acid flow through the sky and eat away my shell? Bloody footprints underneath me?

Wait a minute...there are fuckin' bloody footprints under me?

I lift my foot up, and it's covered with the heavy liquid. I left my other, and it's the same deal. Looking behind me, I see that a left a long trail behind me. Bloody footprints covered the middle of the pavement.

'Peachy.'

I was about to run, but that's what I get for not lookin' ahead of me. I trip over on something, and fall face first on the ground. As I roll over, I see him. Dead eyes staring back at me. He's trying to talk, but he can't. Because his throat is gone, and each word he tries to speak out is only a gurgle.

And I already know who it is. The guy I killed. Let me guess dream, is this the point that I'm supposed ta cry? And say 'Poor Me!'

I'm Tired of that shit!

"You got what ya deserved, fucker. You come at my family, and you come at Mikey, then tough shit. Nothin' else matters!"

And nothing else did matter. I can cry and pout and say whatever, but I'd do it again. And that's the scary part.

Fuuuck...I'm remembering a little bit more of that. My family saw me. Well, that certainly clinched the damn thing, didn't it?

But before I could move further back, I feel arms wrap around me. And then hold me, like they're trying to cradle me. I look up, and it's Don!

I can't help but look up, and smile a bit. The guy's always got that 'thing' about him. He's cupping my face, and smoothing over my cheeks.

'Well, at least maybe these drugs will at least help me get some action on this front. Wet dreams sound nice about now.'

But Don cups me. Damnit, again he's talkin' but, like Leo, I can't hear him too well. I don't know how much time it lasted, Donnie holding me like that. But h did kiss my on the forehead. And that did feel nice. I couldn't help but close my eyes, and the warmth really feels so real. But when I open them, he's gone.

Not only is he gone, but it's night time now. I look back, and the dead eyes are no longer there.

'Great, fuck you dream. Can't a guy at least get a wet dream once in a while or somethin'?

I didn't really mention it much, but fuck. Ever since I started walking on this road, some damn pain rushes through me. It's there, then it's gone. There, then gone again. Wonder what kinda pain killer genius has me on.

'Man, forget this.'

I'm tired of walking down this damn road. I'm just gonna lie down, and see what happens next. Maybe something stupid like a unicorn or shit will fly by to pick me up...or something more crazy, to get me away from this bullshit.

I almost can see the stars up above. Like at Casey's farmhouse. Sometimes I wonder if I should move out. Save them the headache, and make a life at Casey's farmhouse. I'm sure I could fish up there at the lake. Maybe hunt a bit, or hell maybe do some work for Casey fixing bikes or something. Kinda like a trade-off.

I look up, and yeah...I was wondering when you would show up.

Mikey.

He's just standing there though, and it's got this look that I fucking hate. Sad. Really fucking sad.

Well, the kid's always worried about us when we're hurt. So it's a good guess he'd be feeling the same way now. Again, I know my brothers don't hate my guts to the tenth power or such. But that thin line is always there, and I'm always wondering when that thin line would break. And for them, it's a whole 'enough is enough'. Can't really blame them. I'm betting out of anybody, Mikey would be freaked out that his own brother ripped a person's throat out.

It's not really something to laugh about at the kitchen table.

But damnit, even in this dream...I can't stand that look. I'm sure I'll regret it, but I lift my arms up. The Mikey standing over there looks at me, and then comes on over. Lying down beside me, I can't help but hug him and he does the same.

Of course, yet again the guy talks and yet again I can't hear shit. What, is this a rule or something? If you get shot, your dreams come with a mute button?

But I can't help but enjoy Mikey huddled towards me. In real life, I'd play it safe. I don't know how long we were there...Mikey kept moving his mouth with silence coming outta it. And all I could do was stare.

I then felt his hand caress my plastron, slowly up and down. And I couldn't help but moan. This Mikey looked up at me, and I couldn't help but look over at him. The pavement under us was much cooler now. The trees were flowin' back and forth, and stars were shining pretty damn bright above us. I felt Mikey press his hand against my plastron again, going slower but it seemed like more determined now.

I couldn't help it.

"Mmm, Mikey."

He looked up, and Finally I could hear something from him.

"You, uh, you liked that?"

Heh, cute. Even here he sounded nervous. And cute.

"Fuck yeah."

I could feel Mikey's hands press a little harder, yet carefully. His soft hands caressed my thighs and down to my feet, then back up again.

Damn, thank you Mr. Dream! I guess a Wet Dream unpressed that fucking mute button, cause now I could hear Mikey moan like I was doing right now. I feel the kid caress my neck with one hand, as his other pressed against my right side. His lips are barely next to mine, as his blue eyes look down at me.

"So...you want this, Raphie?"

Damn, what is up with this nervous stuff? It's MY Dream. And fuck it, I wanna enjoy this as much as I can.

"Yeah, fer a long while now."

I see a strange look appear in Mikey's eyes. 'C'mon now dream, don't fuck me over now...'

And then I feel a strong kiss on me. His tongue pushes into mine and his lips feel soft and warm. My head lifts up and my right arm rubs the back of his head, down his shell, and back up again. But damn, my left arm don't wanna move at all!

Mikey's lips, as well as his tongue, travel the insides of my mouth. He slides his tongue to the left side of my face, suckling softly where my pulse would be while his hands massage between my legs.

'Damn, a Mikey that needy? Thanks again, Mr. Dream. I owe ya for this!'

I hear bunches of words come from Mikey's mouth, but shit my head is getting fuzzy again. I can't really catch any of it, but I do catch the knucklehead's body rubbing against me. Carefully yet needy. I see tears in his eyes.

'C'mon dream, don't get weird on me now! Oh, yeah, shiiiit...'

My legs spread wide across the pavement, my shell rockin' a bit with a scratchy sound over the road, as I feel Mikey palm my cock. His soft fingers glide back and forth, almost as if Mikey was trying to get every inch of me into his memory. His thumb is rubbing the precum over my tip, as his lips suckle across my plastron.

My precum offers a bit of lubricant, and the damn kid sure didn't waste it. Mikey's soft hands stroke me up and down, slowly at first. But getting a bit faster as it went along. That little sneak brought his other hand to my tail, and was massaging the hell outta it.

Damn that felt good. I swear my toes were clenching so hard, it was gonna break the pavement off this damn road. Mikey's one had was stroking my tail, and matchin' the movements that he was doing to my shaft. It was like the best massage that one could get. The kid's body rubbed against mine, as if he wanted to make sure every inch of me felt a part of him.

Mikey's moans were like a drug, as my hands rub up his arms and down Mikey's plastron. And those eyes, those blue eyes stare down at me. And fuck that's beautiful. Really fuckin' beautiful. I can feel myself gettin' closer, and although Mikey is saying stuff I can't hear him.

'Back to that mute stuff again?'

But those eyes. The look Mikey is giving me. I can't tear my eyes away from them.

"Fuck, wish this was real."

And with that, everything stopped. No movements. Nothing. Just a Mikey giving me let another, strange look.

"What do you mean?"

'Ah fuck, great NOW I can hear him again. C'mon dream, don't let reality bust its' fucking head into here now. We already know it, at least let me get off before this!'

"Nothin', don't worry about it."

"No, it's not 'nothin'. What did you mean?"

'Aw fuck, great. Now Mikey is moving away, standing in the middle of the damn road now. I know this was gettin' too good to be true.'

Okay dream, if you're really gonna fuck me over like that, at least let's get this over with quick. Maybe by then Donnie will put another big dose into me and knock me out completely this time.

"'K dream. Watcha want now, eh? Short or long one? Yes, I know they're all together. Yes, I know they've been with each other for months. And yeah, I know they don't feel fer me that way. Why the fuck would they? So how long we gotta play this song and dance routine?"

I feel myself get up, and the air along this road seems a bit thicker now. And colder.

"So what now? Gonna have my bros tie me up in a straight jacket again? Oh wait, let me guess. We got Mikey here, so is this going to be another classic case of 'Psycho Raph and the Bloody pipe'! The fuck do you want from me! I know what I am, god damnit! I know what I do, and what I've fucking done! Can't I get one god damn good dream about my bros...about Mikey. Just one! Is that too much to fucking ask, huh?"

I watch Mikey stumble back, and I'm on guard. The look on his face...damn, it's a reaaaaaallly 'haunted look' kinda thing.

And then he runs towards me, and we both slam each other onto the ground. We roll along the pavement, tussling back and forth as soft touches are now becoming hard knocks against my skin.

I feel a large hit across my cheek, and realize that it's a pipe. In Mikey's hand. And I recognize that look...it's the same one I had that day. And strangely enough, I stop fighting and just say:

"Go ahead, it's alright. Hit me Mikey...payback time..."

I see Mikey swing, and then I just see black. And once again, I just feel...

Pain.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 - Why?

(Mikey's POV)

Why?

That's the only word that kept going in my brain. Why? Would would Raphie think that?

Why?

I'm in my bed, hands over my face and trying to get rid of my tears. I hate being like this. I really am a big baby.

Donnie and Leo just got Raph calmed down, and I...I just...I couldn't help but put my legs to my plastron and hug my legs. And just let my brain fly.

Although, most of them would say I always do that.

When I saw Raphie, bleeding all over...and he collapsed, god dude!

That. Was. Intense! And the most scared I had been in my life!

Wait, wait. Let me backtrack for a bit. Well, heh, a long bit.

So, I've had this humongous crush on someone. For like the longest time! Only, he's the 'big, tough guy' who would probably, like, get all the girls you know? Well, if he was human and all. Tough, brave, loyal.

And I mean very, very loyal. Like he'd step in front of a car for you!

Or a bullet...

I couldn't help but choke up a bit, and my hand rubs my eyes.

I was so stupid! Why didn't I pay attention? Why didn't I do more? No I had to goof off and...grrrrr, damn it!

Well, like I was saying.

I always liked playing pranks on the guy, because he's fun! Leo would just a "No" and ignore me. Donnie would say he's too busy for 'anything'. But Raph? Sure he gets mad but then he runs after me. Although the dude can be a bit slow at times hehehe, but the chase is great. And it's a lot of exercise, so you can think of it as training, right?

And then there were times where Raph could see through me. I don't know how, but it's like he would look through my eyes and see what I was really thinking. So if I'm doing the whole 'fake smile' thing, he would give me a tap on the head. Sort of a 'cut it out' thing.

I couldn't help but smile. I remember when we were kids. Sometimes, I would need a nightlight (as embarassing as it is to think about now), but if that wasn't enough then there would always be Raph.

Raphie-boy.

Heh, the guy could see into me that the others don't. And to me, the guy was definitely a softie. Like I was saying, when the nightlight back then wouldn't work...he'd be there. Granted, he would huff and puff and try to blow my room down, but at the end of it he would still get into my bed and stay with me. So that the monsters would go away...Raphie was always good for that.

so what about his monsters?

I couldn't help but grab the sheets beside me and squeeze them, tighter and tighter, until it seemed like my knuckles were going to be as read as...

Raph's mask.

*Sighs*

When Leo and Donnie came to me, it was cool! Because don't get me wrong, I did think of Leo and Donnie in those ways as well. And it's been a lot of fun.

It just wasn't enough. Not nearly enough.

There were certain...things...that I didn't want to do with them. And it's nothing against Leo & Donnie. Like I said, they're great!

They're just not Raphie.

Heh, I guess first crushes can be the strongest, right? And I know it's not fair, but that part of me deep inside is really mad at Donnie and Leo.

I knew those guys thought of Raphie-boy the same way as I did. So why this waiting thing? So many times I just wanted to spill it out, right in front of everybody. And I can't just blame Leo and Donnie, because it's my fault too!

My fault for not speaking up! My fault for listening to Donnie and Leo, and there stupid pact!

"Oh, let's just wait until Splinter comes back. Tell everyone then?"

Why? Doesn't Raph deserve to know?

But something they said, it was a fear that really freaked me out. And, I think Leo was the first to bring it up. He pretty much said, 'What if Raph doesn't feel the same way?'

They were pretty simple words. But it was like a dumptruck hit me. What if he DID say no? It made my heart hurt, like really, really, really badly!

I was a coward. Plain and simple. I was afraid that he MIGHT say no. And that was it...I'd never get a chance to be with him.

To love him!

And I noticed things. I noticed looks that Raph gave...whether it being during dinner tables, or training, or patrols. And I just, well, just figured he already Did know about the three of us.

And why didn't I say anything? Because I was too scared to find out what his reaction would be.

Well, I guess I was waiting for him to kick open the door, tie me up, and just take me.

And Yes, I have dreamed about that before!

But then I started noticing other stuff. Raph would go out late at night. And when he would come back...he just felt 'off'. Sad! And then the Nightmares.

I would hear him! I would watch and see him walk out and into the bathroom. Sometimes he was silent, just staring into our mirror that we shared into the bathroom. Other times, he would storm over to his punching bag and go to town on it.

And other times, he would cry. Raphie-Boy, crying! And I didn't do anything!

It was because...because...I-I didn't know what to do! I didn't want to pop up and say "Hey, want to play a video game" or something even MORE stupid. I didn't want him to get mad and never even Try to talk to me.

And that's what I wanted, for him to Talk to Me! We've talked to each other in the past, although I know Donnie is usually the one Raph could talk to. The big guy thinks I'd probably tease him about it.

But I wouldn't tease him about this. Those nightmares sounded scary, just by Raph's noises. I didn't want to tell the others, because I didn't want Raph to close up. Ignore it and say 'it was nothing'. Or think I was just spying on him and, well, drive him away in further.

Although I guess I WAS spying on him. Because I was worried about him! And that night.

That DAMN night!

We made a deal Raphie, don't you remember?

"I can listen, and actually Do It this time. Deal?"

And you agreed man! You agreed, and I was just...stupid!

Countless damn times I could have just walked up! Talked to you, cornered you. Forget Leo and Donnie's deal of 'tell him later'. Forget waiting!

And why didn't I pay attention that night? No, Raph had to push me out of the way and take a bullet.

A bullet, for ME!

And god, the dude was bleeding. Bad! I know later, Leo and Donnie thought part of the reason I was so scared was because of what Raphie, well, Did.

Honestly? I didn't care. Yes, you heard me right. I didn't care. I no I'm an idiot, but i can put 2 and 2 together and get 4.

Raphie thought I was dead. Or dying. And to be more honest? That dude shot Raphie. Our Raphie! My Raphie!

I didn't care about that dude. All I cared about was Raphie bleeding. In my arms! Dying in my arms!

Aw man, tears are filling over my eyes again. Gosh, can't these stop for five minutes? I was so scared! And when we got back, it was just a blur. Whatever Donnie said, I did. Without question. Donnie wanted us to leave the room to let him work. And I didn't want to, I just couldn't. It had to take Leo literally dragging me out of the room. I needed to see that Raph was going to be okay!

Well, after that, it was pretty much me going into Raph rage. I even took it out on his punching bag. Just how stupid I was, how slow I was, why didn't I pay attention?

And Leo? Leo didn't even get mad at me! He just shushed me and took pity on me. That made me madder. Why am I getting pity? If it was Raph, you'd be all over him!

Of course, I felt bad saying that. It just popped out of my mouth. Leo said it was okay, but man the dude definitely kept quiet. And had one of those 'I'm the Leader, I'm thinking' type of looks.

This was probably the longest week of my life. Raph got better, which I'm sooooo thankful for that.

But I know the dude was in mucho pain! Because of me...

It was hard for me to visit him. Everytime I wanted to, I just felt useless. The dude was being filled with whatever painkillers Doctor Donnie was putting into him because of me.

Sometimes I would wait outside. I do remember some stuff from that.

I remember Leo being in there, saying something like:

"I really don't want to say something to piss you off. I really don't Raph."

Heh, that's true. Leo was trying. Looking in, it seemed like Raph was looking at Leo. But, well, kind of not. Leo was pretty much saying how sorry he was and everything. I didn't want to interrupt their talk too much.

Well, Leo's talk.

I remember another time, I heard a noise coming from Raphie's room. I jumped as fast as I could to get there, but Donnie had beat me to it.

And there was Donnie, cradling Raphie's head. It was definitely a Kodak moment, and I couldn't help but smile. Heh, if Raph was one hundred percent the dude would probably not let Donnie do that to him that easily.

But again, although Donnie kissed his forehead and was telling him how sorry he was, about how much we cared about him...it still seemed like Raph was not really 'there'. Maybe it was just me.

As time went on, I just couldn't sit in my room any longer. I had to see him!

I slowly walk into the room, and watch Raph in his bed. I look at the bandage convering his left shoulder, and a shudder goes up my body.

'It should be me there, not you.'

My lips tremble as I stare across his body. The guy I'm in love with almost died because of me.

My eyes widen as I see Raph looking at me. Is he looking at me?

But his arms rise. Well, one does. His left one is still healing up. And I can't help it. That one motion and I just crumble.

I run towards him and climb into his bed, hugging him and feeling his wonderful arm around me. It's like when we were kids, as I enjoy his scent and musk that made Raphie him. Just Him.

I missed his sexy, rough, deep voice that held a power to him. I missed his talented yet rough hands, rough from battle after battle. Protecting us, helping us.

And it all came out. How sorry I was, how I am so glad he was okay, how could it is for him to still be with us...

And I couldn't help it. I shouldn't. Or actually, maybe I should have done this Earlier.

But we almost lost Raphie. I could have lost him. And feeling Raph's warmth close to me, feeling Raphie-boy's breath on me, and his scent across my beak. I just couldn't control myself.

My hand touches his plastron. slowly up and down. I wanted to feel him. Make sure he was real and not some dream, that this Big Guy wasn't gone from us because I was too stupid to not pay attention!

My hand caresses over Raph's plastron, feeling every inch of him. It was like I wanted to memorize every corner, and every part of Raphie boy's body. And I just wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted to feel him.

"Mmm, Mikey."

I pause and look up, and see Raph's eyes on me. I couldn't help it, but I tingled. Raphie moaned, for me? Could it be? I'm not dreaming, right?

"You, uh, you liked that?"

And he actually smirked at me, and then said:

"Fuck yeah."

I couldn't believe it. Raph wanted this. He wasn't disgusted by us, or by me! He didn't hate me for being stupid, or for wanting to touch him this way. I didn't want to hurt his left shoulder, and I didn't want to hurt him anymore than I already did.

Now I really did want to memorize every inch of Raphie-boy's body. Something I've thought about the for the longest time, and wanted for the longest time.

Raph. For me. Just for me!

My hands feel up and down his thighs, to his feet. And each move of my hand makes my Raph moan. He's moaning! Not in pain, and it's because of me.

I'm doing that. I always want to make my family feel good, or smile, or laugh. But this isn't just for Raph, it's for me as well. Being able to touch Raph like this, to feel and watch him moan.

Dude, I couldn't help but moan. Loud!

I go down to his feet, circling around each toe. I want to lick him. Up and down his body from his head to his feet. But not now. Later. Much later! I just want to see him like this, feel his body, and watch him.

Watch him moan for me. And cum for me!

I caress his neck with one hand, and rub his side with my other hand. But I had to make sure. Really had to make sure about something. I didn't just want to be molesting him.

Okay, I did.

I mean, I don't want to rape him. That's what I meant. So I had to ask.

"So...you want this, Raphie?"

As I waited, my entire shell shivered (I swear it did) when he said those words:

"Yeah, fer a long while now."

So, he did want this? Really, like really, really? And he said 'fer a long while', how long? How long did we waste by not doing anything? How long did he feel like this about any of us, or about me? Does he feel the same about the others, or just me?

I didn't care. I just had to kiss him. I press my beak towards him, and push my tongue into his mouth. I can't help it, it's like a drug that I'm addicted to.

I just had to taste him! My tongue laps up over his, and our tongues twirl against each other. I lick the top, and the the bottom of Raphie's mouth. It's a taste I can't get enough of, and while there are other things I WANT to taste...well, I guess I'd better wait until later for that.

I don't want to leave his body. It's so warm and so right! My tongue licks over his cheek, and right over his pulse.

I can feel his heartbeat. It's caressing my tongue as I suckle over his pulse, wanting and needing to feel that this was real. Raphie-boy was alive, and wanted this.

Wanted me!

I needed to see him. All of him, and better yet feel him. My hand rubs Raph's inner thighs, sliding it back and forth as I hear him moan my name. All the while, I continued to kiss and lap up right by Raphie's pulse on his neck.

I tell him everything. How he was the first I ever thought of, all the things I've wanted to do to him, how special he was...I was tired of holding things back from him. He deserved to hear everything!

I couldn't help but churr as I felt Raph's cock ease out into my palm.

'Mmm, Raphie's definitely a big boy.'

I stroke his shaft, back and forth. Very slow. And boy, seeing Raph moan and quiver was hot. Like Super hot! Better than porn or anything else.

I feel bad for saying this...because Donnie and Leo are nice. And hot. But it's just...

This was just hotter to me. And I didn't care how selfish or mean or rude I felt in saying that, all I knew was I had Raph under me. Moaning! Legs spreading for me, as I felt his precum ooze out from the tip of his cock.

The precum helped me stroke him, slow at first. I look down and see that his tail is wagging.

'Aww, how cute. Raphie's tail needs some playtime too!'

I massage his tail, back and forth with my one hand. My other hand is stroking Raph, as my body rubs against his.

I don't want to hurt his wound, so I try to be careful. And it's hard. Really, really hard!

God, speaking of hard. It's really uncomfy in my shell! Really is!

But this is Raph's time. I just want to see him cum, to release what he's got in store for me. To feel his cock pulse in my hand, and feel it hit my skin. I rub it faster and faster, and I do the same with his tail. I couldn't help but let my words fly out. How perfect he was, how sexy he sounded, and how awesome he felt

This was perfect!

But then, he said, well, that...

"Fuck, wish this was real."

It was like getting and electric shock or something. And I looked down at him, and gave a long and hard look. I couldn't help but ask:

"What do you mean?"

But Raph's eyes. Glazed over. He's seeing me, but...oh my God!

Painkillers. What did Donnie-boy say? Something about them, something like, grrr what was it?

Hallucinations.

Side effects. Sometimes side effects can be, hallucinations?

Oh no. No, no, no, no, NO! And then Raph speaks up.

"Nothin', don't worry about it."

What? Don't worry about it?

"No, it's not 'nothin'. What did you mean?"

I didn't just pretty much rape my brother, right? He was out of it, and maybe he was thinking about a chick or something, right? But hey, he moaned my name? But was he thinking...

But then, Raph dropped the bombshell. I had already felt like a huge idiot when I get my best-bud, brother, AND crush shot. Now, I really was the biggest idiot in the world.

"'K dream. Watcha want now, eh? Short or long one? Yes, I know they're all together. Yes, I know they've been with each other for months. And yeah, I know they don't feel fer me that way. Why the fuck would they? So how long we gotta play this song and dance routine? So what now? Gonna have my bros tie me up in a straight jacket again? Oh wait, let me guess. We got Mikey here, so is this going to be another classic case of 'Psycho Raph and the Bloody pipe'! The fuck do you want from me! I know what I am, god damnit! I know what I do, and what I've fucking done! Can't I get one god damn good dream about my bros...about Mikey. Just one! Is that too much to fucking ask, huh?"

When Raph finished, I just stumbled back. And I was-I-I-oh god Raphie, what did we do to you?

And then Raphie's eyes widened. He was thrashing and shaking, and I snapped out of it and yelled Donnie's name.

I came over to Raph and asked him if he was okay (as dumb as it was to say that), and I hovered over him. Donnie and Leo both came in, and while Donnie set up another batch of painkillers, I couldn't help but stare down into those eyes.

Golden ones, filled with so much fire and passion that were excellent to look at, were now dimmed. And he had the saddest look on his face. Sad, and yet a kind of acceptance?

And he said:

"Go ahead, it's alright. Hit me Mikey...payback time..."

And then he blacked out. And I ran out, straight to me room.

And here I was, hands over my face and trying to get rid of my tears, as Donnie and Leo were getting Raph calmed down.

And I thought back to that night. The words Raphie had said to us:

"Please! Don't put me away! Please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

I put my hands down, and stared at the wall. I close my eyes, and then open them again.

And it clicked, it all clicked. Everything.

Raphie did love us. Raphie did want us. Those looks at the kitchen table, and patrols, and more...that wasn't 'wow, what are you guys doing?'

It was, 'hey, how come I'm not a part of it?'

He knew about us. Probably from the beginning. And he was never invited. No one talked to him. No one said anything to him. Maybe he saw us? Heard us?

'Okay Mikey...if it was you, and there was a Leo/Raph/Don Orgy Marathon or whatever, and no one went to you, how would you feel?'

Oh dude! Oh Raphie dude! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

And was that what the nightmares were about? Us throwing him away or throwing him out? Him 'not being good enough'? Him hurting us, or vice versa? Any other time I would go 'why would you think that'?

But, why Wouldn't Raphie-boy think that? We didn't do anything to help him think overwise.

'Psycho Raph and the Bloody Pipe'. I knew what Raph was talking about. I forgave that dude, like, a hundred times on that!

I'm the one that pushed him that day! I'm the one that kept pushing and pushing and making fun of him! And what about the times he's saved us! Saved me! All the damn times that-that, grrrr...

I'm the one who goofed up! And he got a bullet, saving ME! And he thinks he's a fucking monster?

I grab my nightlight nearby and throw it, as hard as I can. A big smash fills my room and I can't help but tremble. I grit my teeth, and my arms are shaking.

Whoa, is this how Raph feels when that happens?

I get up and walk across the lair and to the bathroom. I take a good look at myself, rub my face with water, and then walk out. And I stare towards the room that is holding Raph.

Raphael is my brother, my best friend, and my first crush.

He's our Protector, our warrior, and my Hero.

And I AM going to fix this, and I WILL make it up to Raphie.

'You've saved me from enough monsters bro. Now it's my turn to do the same for you.'


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 - Plan

(Raph's POV)

Plan.

Yeah, guess I didn't have much plans today. My body is still out of it as I wake up. But fuck, it is really god damn sore. My eyes roam over the room.

Yep, definitely Donnie's lab. I look over and my left arm is still out of it. But at least it's bandaged up pretty well.

Damn, Donnie didn't do a bad job at all with dat. But fuck, I'm still not outta the woods yet with dis thing.

I can't help but rub my face with my right one. And I can't help but take a long look at my crotch.

'Yeah, I know. No fun for you either. Don't blame me, blame my head.'

I can't help but pause a second at that.

'Well, I mean the other head. The one... Ah fuck it, ya know what I'm thinkin'.'

Great, I'm getting into arguments between my brain and my dick. If I wasn't still somewhat out of it, I'd laugh my ass off about this.

I look around. Hmm, that's strange. Would figure someone would be around to watch me or somethin'.

'If it's one of dem damn dreams again, I'm gonna be fighting back this time. These dreams are assholes.'

I can't help but slowly get up, and my body is being a somewhat lazy bastard right now. I can't help but squeeze my toes as they hit the floor, and I look around in the darkness. Must be late at night. I keep my left arm as still as possible, as my right one squeezes each of my thighs.

And then my hand goes to my face, and I can't help but close my eyes. Picturing some of those touches and kisses from Mikey. Damn, it felt so real!

I can't help but look up at the ceiling and close my eyes, take a couple of deep breaths, and then open them again. I figure a trip to the bathroom would help out, maybe wet my right hand and smooth it over my face and scalp. Water can be a soothing thing fer me. Kinda relaxin' in a way.

As I ease out of the room, I can't help but look around. Damn the place sure looks empty. But not really quiet...

My head perks and I turn towards the bathroom. I blink a few times, before I kinda shuffle towards the bathroom.

Yeah, shoulda figured that out. Churring.

Of course, when I gotta use the damn bathroom is when they gotta act like fuckin' rabbits or something. The noise rolls over my shell, and my instinct is just to turn around and go back into my room. But my legs weren't really listening to me. I shuffle closer and closer, and I can't help but put my head towards the bathroom door.

I close my eyes, in order to listen to their voices and moans. Try to see what the certain sounds they make, and tell who it is...

My right hand wanders onto the door, and caresses it up and down. The moans and churrs in this door make my breaths go deeper, but it also makes my eyes squeeze little harder.

'Guess that's why I was alone in the room. what da fuck, they can't even wait to see if I was bettah? They had to jump each others' shells in the god damn shower and not even...'

A loud churr caught me, and I could make that out. It was Donnie. Can definitely tell that was Donnie. The other one? More quiet. More reserved, in control.

Leo. Had to be Leo.

But I could only hear two in there, so where da hell was...

And then I hear a cough, and I turn.

Mikey. Standing their with a sheepish expression on the kid's face. And two mugs, one in each hand, steaming up a storm.

"Uh, hey! I was in your room earlier, and I didn't want to disturb you. But I make some chocolate cocoa! Figured I would make two, just in case!"

I can't help but stand there and look, as he looked at me. Those blue eyes poured into me, and hell I didn't know what da fuck to do. Loud churrs brought us both out of it, and when I looked back Mikey had a big blush over his cheeks.

I didn't know what ta think or say, until Mikey said,

"It's got marshmallows."

Heh. Hehehe. I couldn't help but chuckle. Despite every god damn thing in the world, that was cute. And innocent. That's what Mikey was, a ring of sunshine and such. Maybe it was a bit of the drugs and painkillers that I was feeling a bit from before, but I couldn't help but let a little smirk.

I think the knucklehead saw that, because he did it too. I shuffled back to my room, nodding my head towards him. It was enough of a message for him to get, as he followed me back to my room.

Mikey tried to help me back into my bed, but I swatted him away. I was just wondering when Mikey was gonna bring it up. Ya know, the whole 'two brothers fuckin' in the shower' thing.

And he didn't. Just gave me the chocolate cocoa. Kid was right, he fucking overflowed it with marshmallows. Despite that, I looked over at his. And I couldn't believe that he had even More!

"So."

"So!"

"How was your sleep?"

I couldn't help but squint...kinda of a weird way he asked that. I slowly sip the chocolate and watch him.

"Peachy, nothin' special."

MIkey gave a 'hmmm' sound. Not sure if the kid believed me or what.

"So. Guess Don and Leo are busy, eh?"

I was waiting for Mikey to freeze up. Babble. Stutter. But I didn't expect that look in his face. Sadness and yet, a little something else about it. Something stronger.

"Yeah. But you already know that. But, before that...can I do something?"

Mikey's whole 'reaction' thing was kinda catching me off. I nodded slowly, and I saw him put down his cup. Then slowly walked up to me, and hugged me.

Tears. Felt tears on my shoulder, where Mikey was at. When did they start? Whispers of "I'm sorry" flew throughout the room, as I watched him. He had quite a tight grip, but then loosened up when he looked over to my left shoulder.

"Sorry for being so dumb."

I look sharply down at him, and his blue eyes, like swimming pools, looked up at me. I narrow my eyes at him.

"Hey. Don't. And I mean it. Don't."

I'm not much for words, but when he nuzzles my face I can't help but do it back. Man, we used to do that when we were kids, but it had been a long time since then.

He quickly wandered back to his cup and sat down, then stared at me.

"I just...I just had to do that Raphie. And thank you. Seriously dude, thank you."

And I could tell there was no bullshittin' on his face. The kid meant it. Although I can't help but wonder a few things. Killing that guy, the fact he saw me spyin' on Leo & Donnie, and...

"The Deal."

What? What deal? What the hell were ya talkin' about Mikey, you're really confusing me now.

"Remember? Before we went out, on that night? We were going to talk, and I said I would listen. Really listen. And I meant that. So, how about this. We do that deal, okay? I'll answer you, but you have to answer me. Alright? And we'll be honest to each other."

I can't help but let the cup press against my mouth, and let the steam go over my face. I'm really fuckin' dreading where this could go.

"Alright."

I saw Mikey finger his cup nervously, and then look up at me.

"Donnie and Leo have been together for a while now. Pretty, eh, experiences as you can say, heh. Then about two months ago, they came to me. And so, I said yes."

Huh. No jokes. No kidding, and nothin' silly. Oh boy...yep, this is kinda weird.

"So it's my turn, right? To ask something?"

I look over Mikey's form, trying to read him. But I nod. Might as well find out what the kid wants ta ask about.

"How long have you had the nightmares?"

I look up at him sharply. But it didn't seem to faze him. Instead, Mikey had a kinda hard look on him. Damn, is that what I look like when I do that?

"Whatcha talkin' about, I'm doin' fine."

I saw Mikey bite his lower lip, then look into my eyes.

"I thought we were going to be honest with each other?"

I narrow my eyes a bit. I may be kinda fucked up. Well, take out the kinda. But I ain't that much of a pushover. Not yet, at least.

"Whatcha gettin' at Mikey? I said I was doin' fine, and..."

"Fine! Fine! When I'm seeing you having nightmares day after day to the point you're crying dude, and that's fine? And that's before you're taking a bullet for me, but oh yeah that's just 'fine' or 'peachy'. Like dude, seriously?"

Well, that was sure an angry fit from the kid. But, wait a minute...

"You saw me? How many days? What, you been watchin' me? Spying on me or somethin'?"

I see Mikey fidget a bit. And then I remembered back. The eyes. I remember thinking, and more like feeling, eyes on me.

"You. You were the eyes. Eyes I felt, watchin' me. What did you hear?"

I couldn't help but get a bit angry. This shit was personal. MY personal shit. This is exactly the road I did not want to be fuckin' going on.

'Don't you feel bad for me Mikey. God damn it, don't you fuckin' dare be doing that.'

Mikey said 'Nothin', and I didn't believe him. I asked again, and he said it again but only louder. The third time, he practically screamed it.

Okay, he was going to do that, eh?

"Okay then Mikey, so what if I did? We all get 'em from time to time. Like you and your nightlight. I'm sure Donnie and even good ole' Fearless can get dem once in the great while. So ya want an answer? A while. My turn, right? To ask a quesion?"

Mikey got up and then sat down again. And did that over and over, almost like the kid was thinking of doing something and then changing his mind over it.

"Whatcha really want Mikey? So now I know about you guys, what now? No back and forth and building da whole thing up. I know what you guys do. And if ya think I'm just gonna hate ya for that, it's fine. I ain't hatin' you guys for what ya do. It's yer business and it's cool."

That was the thought that kept kinda growing in my brain. That maybe that's why Mikey was acting 'off'. He maybe felt I'd hate him or somethin'. The kid had a good heart. He really did feel bad for what happened that night. Didn't matter to me. Better me than him gettin' shot. I tried to say that last few sentences with as soft a voice as I could. But I don't really 'do' soft stuff that much. Or well, or whatever the hell you wanna say it.

But Mikey chuckled. Not really sure why, and it was kinda pissin' me off again.

"Dude, seriously? You know...I know I can be dumb. Really dumb. And I have been for a while. I was wanting to see if you'd admit it but, I already get it. Certain looks, and certain things you've said. And you really think I'd be worried that you would have us because we had sex with each other. Hate us for something real! Hate me for getting you shot because I was being a dumbass. Hate us for not inviting you to be a part of it sooner, or helping you out with your 'nightmares you don't have but you really do' thing! Hate me for not telling you how much I love you a hell of a lot sooner than I should have! It's not fucking cool Raph! It's-it's not..."

And I saw the kid slump down into his chair, and look at me with those blue eyes. Love me? The kid just said he loved me?

"You being alone, you really think that's ok Raphie? That-that's fine? It's not fine dude. And if you say it's fine, so help me dude. So help me."

I, well...was at a loss for words. But this is too damn good to be true.

"Don't Mikey...just, don't..."

"Don't what Raph? Don't tell you the truth? Do you know, that you were my first crush. My absolute first one. Yes, I can admit that dude. Don't tell you that I thought about you, day after day? At times was begging Leo and Donnie to tell you, but they had this whole 'we're not sure if he wants it, let's wait for Splinter and we'll tell him and then' yadda yadda yadda? Even though, to be honest, Donnie and Leo think about you that way as well. For a long time I've been noticing stuff about you. And I know I should have said something sooner, but I really care about you that way. And I'm not the only one, they think that of you too. Both Leo and Donnie, and me too! But I'm tired of seeing you, like, be this way dude. And..."

"Stop it Mikey! Stop it!"

And Mikey froze. I could tell from his eyes that he was confused.

"Just stop it Mikey! Knock that shit off! So what? You now 'all of sudden' had a crush on me? For two months, two whole fuckin' months no one wants to say shit to me. But they come to you, just fine. None of you guys say a fuckin' thing. 'Leo and Donnie want you.' Yeah, so god damn much and so worried that they're now fucking each others' brains outta each other in the shower. After I've been shot, Mikey!"

Fuck, now I was really sounding like a pouty, 5 year old kid that didn't get his candy at the store or somethin'. But that's not what I'm trying to do. I just don't want some god damn Pity Fuck or Love or whatever!

"Just don't treat this as something it ain't. 'Cause I know you Mikey. Ya feel bad that I got shit? Don't. It's cool. It was worth it. Bettah me gettin' shot than you. And don't fuckin' feel like you 'gotta' do something for me. Like a whole 'Poor Raphie, all alone with his nightmares' and stuff. Because I ain't an idiot."

I look over at Mikey, and now he's really confused. Almost stunned, I guess i the right word for it.

"We both know there's a good reason for it. We both know what I am. You love me like a brother? That's cool. Great, in fact. I really hope so. But don't tell me lies or stuff. It's not like that. Unless me ripping out folks' throats get ya hot and bothered, or almost creaming ya scalp with a pipe makes the sheets wet, there ain't no reason for you ta love me like that. Especially with Leo and Donnie there for ya. Yeah, pissing Leo off really gets Leo's toes clenching, eh? Or blowing Donnie off gets his dick hard, right? I know what I am Mikey. I ain't gettin' in you guys' way. But just, don't PITY me Mikey. Don't! Ya feel bad for people, put on that fake smile or that 'bubbly' shit and try to sell us on it...even when ya don't believe it yerself. Don't use yourself like that just cause you feel sorry for me. I ain't worth you doing that to yourself, just for me! Or letting Leo do the whole 'honor' crap thing and settle, or Don do his 'genius' thing and go all Doctor Phil on me about hormones and settling for 'this' and 'that'. Don't pity me Mikey. Don't!"

I couldn't help it. It just all, well, came out. The exact shit I DIDN'T want Mikey to fuckin' hear. I lied back down and closed my eyes. But I didn't hear anything. And I mean, nothing.

And when I opened my eyes, I almost scared the shit outta myself. Because Mikey's eyes were right in front of mine.

'The kid's definitely a ninja.'

"Y-You-You don't believe me? You really don't think that I...I...that I love you like that Raphie? Really?"

That voice was soft. Really soft. And he was so close, I was ready to just attack those damn lips. But I don't want him feelin' fucking sorry for me. Like he owes me because I took a bullet for him, or the other shit. A day, a week...a month later, and it'd just be for nothing. Then one day for one of them to wake up next to me, say sorries and 'it was the moment' or whatever, and drift back to where we were at now.

"Ain't no good reason for ya to do that Mikey. I'm damaged goods."

I don't know why I thought up those words. But it kinda summed me up well, I thought. But the kid just shook his head, then looked at me, then shook it again. Damn, was he trembling or something? Then he ran out, and I just didn't have the heart to follow him.

Yeah, I know. Cold, heartless bastard. Ya think I liked doing that? But the kid ain't putting his god damn body 'up for sale' or whatever! Let alone that damn, big heart of his...just for things to turn sour later on when it all wears off and he sees what I see when I look at myself in the mirror.

I don't know how long time ticks by. Minutes? Hours? Fuck, I gotta at least go after him. Don't know what the hell I'm gonna say, but fuck it. Beats staying on this bed like a coward and shit.

I search throughout the lair. Huh, seems Leo and Don are done with their 'fun time'. Yeah, it seems they went back to Donnie's room. Guess they think Mikey was still watching me or something.

Mikey's room, my room, the kitchen, the dojo, the living room. A big fat nothing.

'Shit, don't tell me the kid ran out. Fuck!'

I shuffle towards the battle shell, seeing if he went on foot or by truck. Still keeping my left arm from movin' too much. Then something catches my eye.

The battle shell, door is open a bit. Maybe the kid hid in there. Probably crying. Shit, Mikey always was sensitive. Truth hurts though, as shitty as that sounds.

I call out Mikey's name, and nothing. Sighing to myself, I walk into the battle shell. Damn, I can't see shit in here! Where the hell is he?

All of a sudden I feel movement from behind. But I'm too damn groggy to move fast enough. And I feel a hand press something to my beg, as the other grabs my right arm.

What da fuck? Shit, who the fuck is that? Someone's in here, but how? Where's Mikey? If they hurt Mikey I...god da-amn it...woozyyyy and...damn drrrrruggggsss from damn dooooonniies...fffuucckin...thh...

(Normal POV)

He sets the turtle down onto the floor of the vehicle. It was pretty difficult, but his determination and skills was able to get the turtle down as fast as possible. He secured the big turtle so that he won't move too much. Taking a letter from his pocket, he moves swiftly through the turtles' lair and puts it onto the kitchen table, and then climbs back into the vehicle.

He takes the cloth filled with chloroform and tucks it away in a safe place. Making sure that the big turtle was secured as much as possible, the engine of the vehicle started with a loud roar.

Green hands pressed hard onto the steering wheel, as blue eyes looked back at his...passenger. Raphael was secured enough so that he wouldn't move that much, thus keeping the big turtle's left shoulder as safe as possible.

Michelangelo turned towards the front of the vehicle, pressed a button that opened up the doors to the outside, and took a deep breath.

And with determination, Mikey started driving out onto the road with one destination in mind.

Casey's farmhouse.

'Raphie doesn't believe me? He thought he was 'Damaged Goods'? He Doesn't think I could love him like that?'

Driving that long drive up to the isolated farmhouse, all Mikey could do was think and occasional stare back at his 'soon to be lover'.

"I knew you'd come for me Raphie-boy. Now it's time to make a believer out of you."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 - One on One

(Raph's POV)

I always hated that feelin'. Being knocked out. It feels like your brain shuts down. Someone once said that the primitive side, the side with Instinct, can sometimes deal through it. That part of ya will still be awake, somewhere deep in your brain.

Maybe that's why it seems like I could wake up a bit earlier than the others. Or why I won't go down long enough during a fight.

My eyes suddently shoot up, as the thought of my baby bro enters my head. At least, I thought I opened my eyes...but the blindfold coverin' them didn't do much of shit for letting me see what the hell was going on.

I try to move my arms and legs, but I'm tied down. Feels like a bed under me. It seems like each one of my limbs is tied to each of the bedposts.

But, at least they didn't do nothin' to my mouth...

"What da fuck! Who the hell is there? I know you're out there, God Damn It! I swear if you hurt Mikey I'll rip yer fuckin' guts out!"

"I'm okay, Raphie-boy."

My head turns left, as much as I can, as I hear Mikey's voice. Can't help but push a big breath outta my lungs.

'Shit, damn glad he's okay.'

"Yer sure you're okay bro? Who are they, the Foot? Is Karai behind this bullshit or..."

"Nope."

I turn my head again. That was strange, real strange. Mikey's voice seemed a little too damn calm. Usually he'd be at least a little bit nervous. Makin' jokes and such. But he's way too calm.

"Mikey..."

I kinda let the word, well, sorta hang out there in the air. But that's the other funny thing. As ninjas, when ya don't have yer senses, we can use what we Do have as best as possible. That means I at least could try to listen as best as I could...and there wasn't much of anythin'.

I could hear Mikey. His breath and movements...I could definitely tell it was him. But no one else. No one else was breathing or moving. I hear soft pads of feet coming to my direction.

I struggle and pull as hard as I can, trying to get out of this damn thing as fast as possible, but a word stopped me cold.

"Stop!"

It was a cry from Mikey himself. Da fuck?

"Please Raph. You'll hurt yourself. There's no one else here, just me. Only me."

I don't move, and try to figure that out in my head. Some quick steps and a bounce on the bed had me straighten up real quick!

And then a hand soothed up my plastron, slowly up and down. Then in soothing circles. And it was three fingers attached to that hand.

'Why is Mikey rubbing me?'

I feel a hot breath across the left side of my head, dancin' across my face as those hands tried to feel every inch of my plastron.

"Not here to freak you out dude. I'm here to play a game. It's called, 'Truth."

I feel his body lie down over me...those damn hands glide over each side of me. They go up my sides, up to my arms and rubbin' my hands. I couldn't help but stay stiff.

And no, not in that way! Not yet, at least...

I'm tryin' to figure out what da fuck I should say, or what I should say first. But the knucklehead beat me to it.

"Here's how we play. No more lies. That's it. I'm a simple guy Raphie, so why not do it the simple way. I just tell the truth, and that's that."

I could feel him. His face is against the crook of my neck, and I swear that the kid is smelling me. Smelling me? Really?

"Here's the truth. I love you, Raphie. Plain and simple. You were my first crush, and dude you don't know how many things that I dreamed about. Heh, if I even try to begin to tell you, you'd call me the 'Biggest Pervert in the World.' Especially all the ones I want to do to you. And what I want you to do to me."

The kid's voice is soft. No joking or BS involved. C'mon, snap out of it pal. Usually I'd be cussing. swearing. Pulling and shaking until this damn bed was just a big pile of nothing. At least say something God Damn it!

"Why?"

Really man! That's the best I can come up with? Well shit, at least put a whole sentence into it. But Mikey cut me off before I could say anything.

"It depends what you mean on 'Why'? Why did I knock you out with chloroform in the Battle Shell, leave a note and kidnap you? Why I took you to Casey's farm house, tie you up, and blindfold you? Or...is it why do I love you?"

Well...all three of those would work. I would have said something. Note the 'would have'. Until Mikey tilted my head up and licked there.

Actually licked me? Right under my chin! Damn kid nuzzled there, licking and suckling across my skin. I could feel that tongue dancing back and forth as his lips formed some kind of suction under my chin. Right on my neck.

I could barely feel his teeth, while his legs were rubbing against mine. They were somewhat stretched out, so Mikey could most put his legs between them. At least that's what I could feel. And every once in a while, he would take his legs and rub them against mine.

Damn, that was really warm. And really good!

My hands suddently squeeze, really tightly. I ain't doing this. This some other god damn dream, and I ain't falling for it again.

"Get off me."

I feel that mouth stop, and I can't help but twitch at the silence. That was until I felt a pair of teeth across the right side of my neck, and a tongue working in long circles across my skin.

"I said Knock it Off!"

And there was Mikey's voice. Only it sounded...determined. Strong.

"Why?"

And then the damn kid went back to suckling on my neck. His mouth drifted from the right side of my neck, straight back towards that area under my chin, and then to the left side of my neck. And then I felt it.

I soft breath across my wound. And soft kisses, as they trailed around my wound. I could feel his mouth, the wetness of his saliva painting my skin, and then he would let go to blow over my wound...then he'd do it again. Rinse, and repeat.

"Why?"

That damn voice again of Mikey's. Okay, the kid wants truth. I'll give him truth.

"This ain't real, right? Another damn dream that wants to fuck with me?"

I feel those arms press against my plastron...thumbs and fingers seem like they were gently massaging any spot that they could get.

"Heh. Should have figured that. Talk about Deja Vu."

What? The fuck he means? But I guess my confusion must have been noticed, since the knucklehead went on talking.

"Well, I already molested you before dude. Back at home. I touched you. Kissed you. And stroked you. I thought you knew...I really did! You were looking at me. Moaning for me. And I got to do some stuff that I had only dreamt about Raph! Then to find out you thought it wasn't real?"

Ah shit...that tone. I could hear it in his voice. That damn tone where Mikey was on the edge of crying his eyes out. Could it be real?

"And then you had a fit! And you said some stuff...stuff like I should hit you. That it was payback time, or something."

Aw shit...I do remember that. Fuck.

"And, to find out that some of those drugs. Side effect could be hallucination. So you saw me, and then you saw other stuff dude! And I just..."

I feel those soft hands caress my face. They danced across my eyes, smoothing over the fabric of the bandanna that was lying across them. And I felt lips on my bare scalp. It was a weird feeling, definitely. It's kind of a thing you'd do if you were a parent, and maybe kiss your kid on the head.

Comfort? Trust?

"When you didn't believe me dude...you know, when I said I loved you? That hurt. Worse than anything you'd ever done. And you know what's funny?"

I hear laughter. Not sick laughs, or crazy ones. Painful ones. I've heard that kind before, usually from my own mouth.

"I helped that. I know, I'm the 'big guy who gets away from anything'. And you're the 'Big tough guy.' But how much Raphie? Huh? We both already know...you think of stuff here..."

And with that, his fingers rub my scalp, down to the sides of my head, and back up.

"And, I know it's going to be hard for you. To tell me. I mean, heh, bro I know this isn't goint to be perfect by the end of today. Or tomorrow. But! And this is the big one Raphie-boy..."

I feel his lips, just barely rubbing against my own.

"If you think I'm lying. And if you think I'm just going to give up on you. You really are crazy. You'd never give up on us. I'm not going to do it to you. Because I'm tired of lying. Even not saying stuff to you, that...crap? Just another lie! I'm tired of listening to Donnie and Leo with this whole 'waiting game' on telling you! I'm tired of you thinking you need to 'die for your sins' or whatever the shell you're doing Raphie-boy. You know me, I play games. And like I said, this one is 'Truth.' So please, PLEASE Raphie. Tell me the truth..."

Shit, what the hell am I supposed to say? I feel his breath across mine, and I hear him whisper...

"Raph. Do. You. Love Me?"

It seemed like every image, or thought, or whatever just was flying into my brain. Like a fuckin' whirlwind of the past, the dreams, the stuff I've been feelin' and seeing were mixing in together.

The What-If's. The Maybe's. The Couldbe's. The Yes and No and Whatever and Can't and Won't's.

The truth.

"Yeah. I do."

And I felt that mouth kiss me, long and hard. Those feelings before came back. Only two-fold. That same feeling of a tongue licking my upper and my lower end of my mouth. A tongue trailing along with my own, as hungry hands rubbed over my sides. My tied-up arms and legs wiggled, as my mouth was answering back with his.

But unlike last time, Mikey pulled back. with the way his body was positioned, I could feel he was somewhat straddling me. His voice, a very serious yet soothin' tone to it, tossed out onto the air of the room.

"So, you tell me Raph. How do I make you believe? That this isn't a dream. That it's real. And that I love you, bro. Just tell me. That's it. Nothing else to it. No one hear but us. And honestly? Truthfully? That's the way I like it."

I had to think. If the past, long while hasn't been screwing up with my head, this certainly was...

Because either my kid brother actually snuck up on my ass, knocked me out which kinda now pisses me off that he did that so damn easily, and now has me tied up and blindfolded to have his way with me...

Or another fucked up dream from my fucked up head, because I found three of my bros sleeping together and I'm a psycho asshole with an Emo problem of feelin' sorry for myself...

Maybe I should do something different, and actually think about dis.

My dreams, something they had in common...

Control. Trust. They were lackin'. Even if it went well, it seemed like they weren't doing shit I was telling them to do. Or doing what I wanted.

What I wanted...huh...

"Kay. How bout first, take off the blindfold."

I waited, wondering what would happen. But sure enough, I felt hands untying the fabric and being carried away from my eyes. I stared up, but fuck my eyes had to blink a few times at the sudden, damn light that was flashing across me.

Although blurry, I could tell Mikey wasn't lyin'. This was definitely Casey's farmhouse. One of the few guestrooms that was set up. Hell, this was one I even helped that bonehead set up this same fuckin' bed!

And then I looked at Mikey. Those eyes, they were filled with a lot of stuff. He seemed determined, sad, little bit of lust...and some love there as well.

Kid didn't have his bandanna on, and then I noticed. Huh, the kid actually used his own bandanna to blindfold me. Woulda figured he's just use my own.

Although, maybe even that little bit of business says a lot more than words would have.

But, it seems like it's going well so far. Let's see where this goes.

"Now, untie me."

It seemed Mikey sort of shuffled for a bit. It could be this is when the dream goes conkers, and it could be that he thinks I'll bolt the hell out after he does it.

But, kinda surprisingly, he does it. He unties my arms, but gives some soothing across where the ropes were at. Same with my legs.

See, the reason I said it was kinda surprising was...well, he didn't ask anything. He could have said, "I'll do it, but you got to promise me not to leave, or hit me, or run away, or knock me out" or whatever the hell he would have said.

But he didn't. And looking at his eyes...you can always read a lot of stuff in those damn blue eyes.

The word trust was pretty much the main word coming out of him. I don't do much, but hell I can at least do this.

I lie back down, getting the pillow along my head for a bit, and breathe slowly in and out. Trying to put some thoughts together. I could see Mikey smile a bit. I guess he's glad that I didn't do any of that shit like 'running out on him' or 'punching him' and such.

"So, this 'Truth' game. Gonna hear some from you?"

Mikey was a little surprised by my words. He was kinda struggling on where to sit or stand up or whatever. I just scooted a bit over and patted a spot on my left, which Mikey smiled and sat down at that spot.

"Okay dude. What would you like to hear?"

Well, might as well go straight away from the bullshit.

"Why, on da whole thing...kidnappin' me, Leo and Donnie...why'd ya go for someone like me...the whole thing..."

Mikey fidgeted for a bit, before asking:

"Okay but, may I, uhm. May I lie down next to you Raphie? Please?"

I couldn't help but laugh. The kid kidnaps me to here, and now he's asking like the 'blushin' virgin'. I nod, cause why not...

The kid lies down next to me, and puts his head on my plaston. But he turns kinda weird, so that he's facing towards my face. And his hands caress over my left shoulder. Across where the bullet hole was at.

"Like I said Raphie, when you didn't believe me...it was like I snapped! I was angry, at like everything! You, me, Leo, Donnie, the world. So, pretty much I was like you on a normal day."

I playfully swat him, as Mikey went on:

"And, I just, well. I needed to prove this to you, you know? That I was serious about this and wasn't just 'goofing' off and such. For the longest time bro, I saw you. When I had nightmares it felt like I was going to drown or something? I saw you, and you let me sleep in your bed. And little stuff, like playing some games with me, or when we go out and I'm on my skateboard while you're on your skates. When things seem to be going bad in our lives or during a fight, I saw you! I could pick on you and have fun, and you'll actually do something with me! Leo would brush it off, and Donnie would be too busy on nerdy stuff. When I get hurt, you're usually the first one there to see if I'm okay. Or you're carrying me on your back, or holding me to see if I was okay. And...damn it dude!"

And with that he slapped my plastron, what da hell?

"You wanna know what else I saw? I saw you! Bleeding to death. In front of me! BECAUSE of me. You saved me Raphie? You did it more times than I can count, and you want to think in that-that-dumb head of yours that it's been never. Never dude! NEVER! That you never do anything or you deserve this or-God damn it Bro, that IS you being stupid! And for what, a stupid moment where I kept teasin' and teasin' and teasin' and teasin' and teasin' and teasin'..."

"Mikey, think I got it..."

"Huh? Oh, yeah! Teasing you until you blew up! Of course you did. That's like me lighting a match to a stick of dynamite. And what, I should blame the dynamite! I'm the one who lit it dude!"

And with a huff, Mikey pushes his head into my neck as he held me, and I could feel some tears roll over and onto my shell.

"I was so scared that you were going to die bro. You were bleeding so much! And then what you said. You said sorry, and you're thinking we were going to put you away. Or later one, you say I should hit you and give you 'payback'. Just...damn it Raph!"

A soft slap of his hand went against my plastron. There wasn't much strength to it.

"Still no excuse."

I could see Mikey's tears glistening the kid's face, as he looked up at me. He might as well have had a question mark on top of his head.

"Almost killin' ya. Rippin' a guy's throat out. Other stuff. Been a lot of other stuff, Mikey. It ain't an excuse. It's a cop out. 'Poor Me.' Should know bettah. Ya can't tell me it ain't easier dealin' with Leo or Donnie than with me Mikey. Right?"

The knucklehead looked me up and down, as if he was studying my face.

"Yeah. And no."

Okay, the fuck does that mean Mikey?

I swear the kid is becoming a damn mind reader though.

"Are they easier? Yeah. Doesn't mean better. Heh, don't get me wrong. Leo and Donnie are great brothers. And lovers. But...they're not you, Raphie."

Fuck me. Why the hell did that make me want to act like a pansy from now until kingdom come or whatever. As if I wasn't acting like that already. Why's my eyes stinging, or my shell seems like it's vibrating and stuff.

"You see, Leo and Donnie want you too. They do, we've talked about it. But here you are...thinking you aren't 'worthy' of us. We cut you out, lie to you, and treat you like 'oh Raphie-boy would never notice, let's wait for blah blah blah'. Hell dude, you have every right to yell at us. Cuss us out! Say we're 'asses' and the whole alphabet! But no. You can help me with nightmares, and yet you? You're alone with them. And for how long bro? Again, I know. You don't want to see. But, if one day you want to, I meant what I said. Way, way long time ago, remember? Our deal? I'll listen. All the stuff you wene through Raph...and you still have their backs. And mine. Always had mine back. And I want to have yours."

Mikey stared into my eyes. Straight into me. Ya know that phrase 'stare into your soul'? I thought that was a really corny-ass thing to describe. But I guess the look Mikey was giving me now...THAT kind of look is where they got that damn phrase from...

"If you let me, Raphie-boy. You just got to trust me. Please?"

Hearing those words, and looking into those eyes. They were wet and blue. Hypnotizing as hell. For some reason, something popped in my head. Something I thought about, a while ago.

'Seeing someone want ya that much? To the point they'd hold you down and do whatever they wanted to you? That's a trust thing. You trust each other enough that, well, pretty much anything goes.'

"This ain't a dream...right?"

And that smile, as Mikey leaned over and nuzzled against my cheek.

"Well Raphie, then maybe you should kiss me quick, before you wake up."

Mikey leaned over and kissed me. A lot slower this time. And lot more, sensual?

Yeah, pretty damn sexy. And I finally wrap my arms around him. I don't want this moment to end. To fly away, or the fuckin' ground cave in, or the world to split with thunder and lightning and the damn Pillars of Heaven shaking.

They didn't. Just Mikey's warmth and taste was there.

Mmm, damn straight. Could get used to this.

My arms move over his shell as I feel his mouth kiss my left shoulder. My hands move up and down his shell, then across his neck as I squeeze gently. Kinda like if you were going to give someone a massage. Then I flow them down over Mikey's body, until I'm pettin' the kid's thighs. I lean over and can see a bit of his tail, wagging back and forth, as I can't help but reach down and squeeze it gently.

That definitely got a big gasp from the knucklehead, as my other hand reached down and cupped that ass that I had been thinkin' about. Seems like forever, as I caressed it and fondled that soft skin on his ass. And my other hand rubbed his tail back and forth.

I could hear a deep purr come out of the kid. Easing my head back, I could see Mikey blushed for a bit before leaning over and kissing the corner of my mouth. I could help but hum. I really liked that sound coming out of him. My one hand squeezed a bit more on his rump, as I felt Mikey's body wiggle against my hand. Little, soft gasps escaped his mouth as my other hand stroked that little tail of his back and forth.

I could feel Mikey's fingers across my left shoulder. His fingers are almost afraid to touch my wound, and I let go and grab his hand. He looks at me, with kind of a 'huh' look on his face, as I drag his hand over to where my wound is...

"It's alright Mikey. See?"

The wound's been healing pretty damn good. I let him touch it lightly, and yeah it kinda stinged. But I held it in...this was for him.

"It's fine kid. I'm fine."

And there it was, that smile. That smile is a good fit for this one. I can feel Mikey's arms wrap around me as he nuzzles me, and I hear him take a big inhale. Like he wants to get every inch of my musk into his lungs, while that purr of his continues to rumble throughout his body.

I think it's about to come outta my body as well, shit!

But then I feel Mikey take my hands, and I'm wondering what's in that kid's head now?

"Well, heh. I-I got something to tell you too! You see uhm-uh-hmm-well, uh-"

The kid is definitely blushing, and it just makes me chuckle at how certain things don't come out as ya suspect. I just can't help but ask a simple, 'What?'

Mikey's blue eyes look into mine. He takes my left hand and puts it in between us. For a second, I figured he was going to put it on his own crotch.

The kid did say he was a damn pervert and such.

But he doesn't. Instead, he puts it between my legs. Under my crotch. And right near...

Whoa!

"You see, uhm. I-I, I thought about a lot of things. Lot of things, Raphie! Like, heh, I think about how I would love to feel this. Me. In you."

And I feel him take my hand and rub my finger against my own opening. Lightly and nothing forceful about it. But it's enough to make some of my toes flex.

"Bu-bu-but, heh, I know that won't be for a long while. Or ever, or heh, yeah...I-I just had to mention that."

I do gotta admit, that a stuttering Mikey is kinda cute.

"Actually I, I wanted to do that when I had you tied up! Still do, or I mean did...well I still mean do, dude. But I mean I..."

I stop the kid but nipping at his chin.

"Hey. Mikey. Ya act like ya never done any of dis before and such. Shouldn't I be the 'stutterin' one and stuff?"

And there's that blush again. What is up with this blushing? The kid's got, like, months of experience ahead a me.

"Well I, well...never done it before."

Ah, that's it. Never topped. Guess Leo and Donnie never gave him the chance to do that kinda stuff. Yeah, me being the 'big tough one' should feel da same way. But I don't, so sue me.

"Ah, heh, ya mean toppin' Mikey? Well, me neither so guess we're in da same boat, eh?"

And then I hear a whisper, which sounded like, "More than you think."

I look at him strangely, then bop his head softly with my own. The kid still has my hands in each of his. He can tell by the look in my eyes that I want him to talk.

"Well, I..."

He takes my other hand, and presses it to his left thigh. Dragging my hand across his skin, he moves my hand so it cups his ass. Then, he takes one of my fingers, and presses it against his opening. He's rubbing my finger across it.

Wait... Just. Wait.

"Ya mean. You never-with Don, or Leo-never did, that?"

I watch as Mikey shakes his head softly, while biting his bottom lip.

"Trust me dude, they wanted to. Heh, more than once! I mean I've had, like, fingers. But not, well..."

I feel Mikey release one of my hands, the one that was making me touch my own hole, and he rubbed one finger softly against my slit. He rubbed it softly, up and down, and it seemed like any minute now he was ready to push in so he could feel the tip of me.

"Not this. Wanted you to be my first."

And with that, Mikey pressed my finger against his hole, rubbing the outside of it slowly up and down. At the same time, he rubbed my slit and it was damn hot seeing his hand between my legs.

"To be honest Raphie-boy, I'm greedy! I want all of your Firsts. Sure, Leo and Donnie want some of you too, trust me dude...but hey, they wanted to wait. So the joke's on them. I got your first kiss, and now I want your first everything. I want to be the first to taste you. Feel you. Watch you cum. Take you. And..."

Mikey's lips kiss across my plastron, as I see his tongue dancing across it back and forth.

"It sucks that you can't have a lot of My Firsts! Not My first kiss, or other stuff. But I can at least get yours. And at least, there's one thing you can be my first of, so...Raphie? Will you be my first, dude?"

Well, I think I've been passive long enough. I grab him and toss him down so that he's now on the bottom and I'm straddling him.

"Whoa, dude your shoulder and..."

"Fuck da shoulder."

I kiss him hard, as my arms fondle each part of his body. I kiss down his neck, across his arm, and back to his neck again. My hands caress his plastron up and down as my legs rub against his thighs. Damn, such soft skin!

That purr is reachin' louder and louder through Mikey's lungs. And now some are coming out of mine.

"So I-I should take that as a Definitive yes?"

I look up, and cup his face. I can't help it. I just felt like doing it. My thumbs caress each side of his cheeks, as I lean down and kiss between his eyes. My tongue darts out, drawing a soft circle as a hard and loud gasp comes out of Mikey.

This body beneathe me, begging and willing and wanting. Eyes filled with lust and love.

"Damn straight."

And that big smile again erupts over the kid's face, as his arms circle around me and pull me down for another kiss.

And then, I can't help it. Something pop's in my head.

"Mikey? Did you say, you left a damn letter at da lair?"

I see the knucklehead blush, then fidget, and then his eyes looked all over the room except on me.

"Well?"

He fidgets some more, before looking straight at me with that 'wide-eyed, teeth showin'', over-da-top I-Did-Nothin' look.

"Well, I might have. Done something. Like that."

I can't help it, but I had to ask.

"What'd it say?"

I see Mikey biting his lower lip, and he gave one of those 'nervous glances' when he knows I might just tap his head for sayin' it.

"Well, I, uhm..."

The Turtle's Lair.

Leo and Donnie didn't expect much when they got up. But definitely weren't expecting two brothers missing. And they certainly didn't expect the letter that they found on the kitchen table, which read:

"To Leo and Donnie,

Kidnapped Raphie. Ready for Nookie Time. You can't stop me. Nah Nah Nah. Will Be Gone for a Week. Don't wait up.

Donnie, Don't Let Leo Have Heart Attack.

Leo, Don't Let Donnie's Head Explode.

Love and Kisses,

XOXOXOXo

Mikey!"

"Seriously?"

Wow. Just wow. As I look down at Mikey, I just didn't know what to say.

So I laughed. Hard. And I couldn't stop. And it was the best laugh I've had in ages.

When Mikey joined in and we both settled back into the bed, we couldn't help but let the laughs and chuckles drift on. And on. And on.

This wasn't bad. Not at all.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 - Firsts

(Raph's POV)

Ya may be wonderin' why I'm on the bottom and Mikey is da one hovering over me.

Simple. It's 'cause he used the Double Whammy.

And what the hell is that? There's two things that Mikey will use against me. His Plan A is to put those 'Baby Blues' and turn them into 'Puppy Dog' Eyes. Plan B?

Whining. Lots of whining.

So of course, the kid did both. Promising 'the best BJ ever!' I felt Mikey's hands smooth over my arms, over my throat, and then down my arms again. I guess this is part of that whole 'First' thing he was talkin' about.

It's kinda, well, nice that Mikey seems to be 'beaming' and 'hyper' with da thought that he was going to be the first 'to taste me'.

He's more Perverted than I thought. I like dat.

Despite the shit that I sometimes give him, Mikey really does have some strong hands. Training with hand-held weapons all your life can tend to do that to your hands. I felt Mikey's hands squeeze and smooth over my thighs, as his tongue snaked the center line of my plastron.

I could feel Mikey twirl his tongue in circles, while his hands were massagin' my inner thighs. He then turned to my left arm, and kissed down slowly. From my shoulder to my wrist. I couldn't help but flex and clench my toes when he slid my fingers into his mouth.

He suckled them one at a time, swallowin' and vibratin' over them as he winked at me.

Fuckin' tease...

He took a lot of special care on my hand and fingers, almost like he was nursing it. Like a baby with its' bottle. Then he straddled over my body and did the exact, same thing to my right arm. Those slow kisses down from my shoulder to my hand. That same sucklin' of each of my fingers into his warm lips.

Can't believe I'm already gettin' hard under my shell. But, seein' a horny Mikey lapping at yer skin like a kitten to milk...maybe it's not that hard to believe.

Mikey straddles my hips, and then leans back. Farther and farther until he is pretty much layin' down between my legs. He spreads my legs a bit wider, and then leans over to where I'm hidden under my shell...

And he just stays there. Lookin' and...breathin'? What, the kid was trying to breathe in my scent?

When I saw Mikey close his eyes, and that damn purr came out of his throat as he edged closer...I guess I got my answer.

I'm tryin' to control my breathing here, but it ain't gettin' that easy. I feel Mikey just breathe. Soft, controlled breaths at the spot that I'm getting damn ready to peek out.

Then that little ass stopped!

That Damn smirk of his...he puts his mouth to my thighs and licks downward. His hands move along where his lips are going, as if he was wiping off the saliva that he was dripping from his mouth from all the licks he was doin' to my thighs.

Then he gets to my feet. Not sure what the deal is, not like feet are anything that...

Oooo. Shit.

I feel the kid's tongue slowly go up and down my heel, then over the bottom of my foot. I can feel his tongue scraping gently up and down the bottom of my left foot, as his hands held my toes. Mikey massaged each one of my toes, while his kisses fluttered around different areas of my foot.

Then I see him stop. He bettah not...

He. Hehe. Hehehehehe, ahahahaahaa!

"Da-hahaha-aaamnit Mikey, sto-sto-stoooop ticklin' my damn f-f-feet."

I was about ready to give him a smack on the head, until I felt his mouth capture my toes. That kinda stopped any movements that I was gonna make.

I watched Mikey as he just started into my eyes, while his mouth worked over each of my toes. From my left foot, to my right, and back to my left again. When he sucked on each toe, he let bits of saliva drip down and overflow the spots between my toes. All the while, his hands had gone from ticklin' me to a massage.

Fine, fine. Okay, I could get used to the 'feet' thing.

And then it all stopped, as Mikey crawled over my body and leaned over. Going up to meet with his head, the kid leaned down and kissed my bottom lip, before dragging his tongue to my upper lip. I felt his hands push me slowly down onto the bed, and then he slid over my waist and was now between my legs again.

Only now, he stretched his tongue out, and licked. I could feel Mikey was slowly pushing his tongue, and was now lightly flicking over the tip of my cock that was beginning to peak out. And with one, smooth move Mikey reached in and guided me out.

I couldn't help but moan, from both the lick and feeling my cock in his hands. And it seemed Mikey's 'purrs' went even louder than before.

I couldn't help but watch Mikey's face. Mainly because he just kept lookin' at my cock like he was studying it. And he kept stroking me, nice and slow. As if he wanted to feel every inch of me. I could already feel quite a bit of precum oozing out of the tip.

And Mikey just watched. Watching the drops of my precum slide down my shaft, then he took his finger and swiped it. Damn kid popped that finger into his mouth. Then he did it again with another drop of my precum. And another.

Shit, now that purring sound is comin' outta my throat. I could hear Mikey moan loudly as he leaned down and stuck his tongue out at my tip, wiggling it slowly back and forth over the tip of my cock.

I could see my precum coating his tongue, as Mikey dragged it slowly in a circle. Then back and forth, before easing just the tip of my cock into his mouth.

Damn, that was like a shock treatment to my body. I think a gasp was tryin' to escape my throat. And there was Mikey, slowly suckling the tip of my cock and milkin' my precum.

It was obvious that Mikey was getting just as much excitement over dis as I was, because I could see Mikey's eyes close while his mouth continued slowly sucking drop after drop of precum outta me.

And I could see the little movements of his throat, and I couldn't help but groan at the site of my baby bro swallowing each and every drop of my precum into that warm mouth of his.

Mikey kept nursing my cock, just like that, and then I moaned pretty loudly when he dragged his tongue down my shaft. I swear that he was giving these small kisses as he went up and down, while his hands squeezed and rubbed my inner thighs. Mikey's tongue dragged all around my cock, as if he wanted every spot of me to have some kind of wetness from the kid's saliva. He went back to suckling on my tip, as I heard loud moans and purrs coming from him.

Well, actually from me as well. It felt amazing. Better than anything I ever felt. Sharp gasps kept leaving my body, as I felt him push my cock deeper into his mouth.

Inch by inch, I could see myself disappearing into his throat. And he didn't gag, not once. When he got me all the way inside his mouth, he just stayed there and moaned. I could hear deep breaths, almost like snorts or loud snippets of air, coming from him as that purr of his seemed to went up my cock and vibrate through my body.

And Mikey just started into my eyes, and I could see his were filled with a lot of lust, and a lot of love. And while staring at me, Mikey moved his head in a circle. Slowly.

Too damn slow, cause it felt like I was losin' my damn mind by dis point.

I swear the kid could read my mind, because Mikey chuckled and then eased back. Almost to the point where only the tip of my cock was left in the kid's mouth, and then he pushed himself down and filled his throat back with my cock.

And he did that again. And again. And again!

Fuckin' shit!

I couldn't help it, but both my hands and feet clenched and unclenched against the sheets of the bed. I could hear the sounds of him sucking me, as Mikey delved up and down over my cock. I could just feel myself pulse and harden as much as possible as it got encased in that damn warmth and wetness over and over again.

I tensed for a bit as one of his fingers rubbed against my hole, but before I could say anything I looked down and saw Mikey wink at me.

He wouldn't go further with it. Even I know that going in rough would be, well, a pain in the ass. Lliterally.

But Mikey just rubbed against my opening, up and down and then side to side. And even that bit of heat and friction seemed enough to make my breaths go even more fuckin' shallow than before.

And Mikey never left my cock. He just bobbed his head up and down, faster and faster. One hand was rubbing the outside of my ass while his other stroked the bottom part of my shaft.

I was gettin' close! But even when I voiced it, all I could see was Mikey nod eagerly as he seemed to go even faster and my gung-ho than before.

I could feel myself risin' more and more, and my damn hips were having a mind of their own. Mikey's hand stopped rubbin' my hold and instead held my hips down, as his other hand went as fast as possible. Sucking and twirling his tongue around my shaft over and over again.

F-f-fuuuuuuck!

I shuddered and shook as I came. I couldn't help but groan loudly as I felt Mikey suckle and swallow the jets of cum shooting out of my cock. I could feel Mikey's tongue twirling my tip, like he wanted to milk every drop from my body. His hand kept giving long and slow strokes, as he jerked as much of my seed into his throat as possible.

I could see that drips and drops escaped the kid's mouth, but he wouldn't let go of my cock. Instead, his other hand went back to rubbing the outside of my hole in smooth, soothin' circles while his other hand slowed his strokes anymore.

And it was unbelievably hot to see the gulps and movements of Mikey's throat. The thought of Mikey swallowin' every drop of me...

Shit, now i know I'm out of it. I'm already repeatin' stuff that I already thought about before...

Mikey didn't let go of my shaft. He just kept it in his mouth, nursing it slower and slower. I guess the kid knew how sensitive my tip was getting, because I could feel his tongue just glide down across the sides of my shaft while he kept me encased in his mouth.

I could feel myself shrink and go back down, as Mikey was literally trying to milk every drop from my body. My legs and thighs rellaxed, and my breaths just came out in long, deep gusts of air.

I felt myself twitch as my cock now felt the open air. Mikey nuzzled and breathed in my heavy musk, as he guided my cock back into my shell.

"Mmm. You taste awesome Raphie. Even better than what I imagined."

Couldn't help but blush at least a little bit from that. And I didn't know what to say. What, an 'uh, cool?' or a 'heh, thanks'?

I could see Mikey looking down at my thighs, seeing the white splashes of my cum that had escaped from his mouth.

Leaning down, I groaned a little as I saw and felt Mikey lick up those same spots of cum from my skin, before leaning back up to my face. And then he kissed me.

Kissed me! And his tongue slowly pushed into mine, as I felt those bits of cum go from his mouth into my own. And now I was tasting myself. Mikey moaned loudly as he pushed my own cum from his tongue to my own, and I couldn't do much but swallow it.

Easing back, Mikey licked across my lips and then nuzzled my throat.

"See! Like I said, you taste awesome. You agree?"

I really didn't know what to think. Well, more like my brain had a hard time tryin' to think. I guess Mikey figured that out, since the knucklehead chuckled and cuddled against me.

"Heh, so I guess I was Just That Good, eh Raphie-boy?"

I wanted to smack him upside the head, or growl. But my damn brain was leaving out the room at that point. All I could do was feel Mikey next to me, and the slight tremors from what had just happened.

"Yeah. Good. Th-thank ya."

And then I leaned over and kissed the corners of his mouth, as my hands wrapped around him. My hands shifted down to squeeze his ass, which got a lust-filled moan from Mikey.

"I think I got a way to repay ya for that."

Mikey smiled and said not now, but later. I was a bit confused, and so I asked why.

"Just want to enjoy this. You, completely out of it. Relaxed, and happy! I don't see that enough. I like it. Plus, it's nice to enjoy my handiwork of completely making you spent, especially enough that is seems like you can barely move. Hehe, gives me lots of ideas for later."

Now I did growl at that, but it was a playful one. And I lightly tapped the back of his head, as Mikey chuckled and nuzzled into the crook of my neck.

"And damn dude, that was a lot! I mean, geeze Raph, when was the last time you came?"

I looked at him, and then thought about it. And I had to really think about it, because I honestly couldn't remember the last time. Of course, there were a lot of times I had wanted to...but certain stuff kept gettin' in the way for THAT.

"What? 3 days? Four?"

Damn, Mikey was pretty persistent when he wanted to. And his risin' voice, mixed with a kinda 'surprised' note to it, was almost cute enough to make me laugh.

"I don't know...maybe a month, I guess, I mean I..."

"What!?"

Shit, that hurt. Don't be yellin' in my damn ears, Mikey!

"Wait, that long? How the hell did you survive dude?! No way I could go that long, I'd go crazy!"

Yep, I was right. Definitely a Pervert we got here.

"Don't know. Not like I did it on purpose. Just...well. Things happened."

I kinda left it at that. I wasn't ready to really go into detail. Not yet, at least. But I felt hands smooth across my cheeks and scalp, and then a kiss at the top of my plastron.

"Hehe. Well, you better get ready Raph. Because you won't have to worry about that again. I guarantee that."

I couldn't help but chuckle a bit at that.

"Oh really? What are ya, a little Nympho that I'm gonna haveta keep my eyes on?"

Mikey smiled and leaned into me.

"I guess you're going to have to find that out first hand, Raphie-boy hehehe."

Mikey's legs twirled around with my own, as we both leaned into the other. I leaned over and suckled Mikey's neck. My teeth grazed softly against the skin, as my right hand caressed and gave a soft slap against Mikey's ass.

Those blue eyes widened up to my own, and yet I could see they were still hazing in a big heapin' of lust. And I couldn't help but smirk as I leaned over to him. And in a slow and deep wave of my voice, I whispered:

"Count on it."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 - Payback

(Raph's POV)

Mmm.

I couldn't help but moan softly, as my eyes opened. And there was Mikey, settled on my plastron with a bit of drool coming outta his mouth.

Ick. And then I stopped myself, and was ready to laugh. Mikey had made me taste my own cum, but I went ick from a little drool comin' out of the little squirt's mouth.

'Yeah, okay then.'

But as I stared down at him, I couldn't help but let a smile fly over my face. The kid definitely did a lot for me, in a pretty damn short amount of time. My eyes then went down, raking across my baby bro's body, and I took in how cute the kid can be. Soft skin...even his skin seemed brighter than the rest of us.

'Fits him.'

And then my eyes went up to his sleeping face, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

Payback time.

Yeah, Mikey's a damn good ninja. Though I don't wanna admit it since he'll annoy the hell outta me by gloating about how 'I admitted his awesomeness' and shit. But when sleepin'? He can be kinda a heavy sleeper.

Good. Perfect actually.

I ease away from him, and then turn him over so that he's face down. So far, so good. My fingers lightly trail across Mikey's shell, across the back of his thighs, then up and over his arms. And then I look down, and eye something that Mikey neglected before...

The tail. I rub my right hand softly across Mikey's tail. Pretty cute. Same with his ass. I squeeze his cheeks slowly up and down, massaging them as I hear little murmurs and sighs coming from Mikey. And then I rub his tail, slowly from the base to the tip.

I hear a loud sigh escape from Mikey's lips, and I start slowly stroking his tail up and down. Thankfully the kid ain't awake yet...

But I do hear some soft purrs and such coming from him. As my hand rubs against his skin, I see that Mikey's eyes are still closed but words are coming from his mouth.

"Mmm, Raphie."

I smile at dat...kid's actually thinkin' about me in his sleep.

Mmm, damn straight.

I lean down and watch his tail wag softly back and forth, and I let my hand loose so that it's guided by Mikey's tail. And then I smirk and lean down...gulping the tail deep into my mouth.

A loud sigh, mixed with moans and cries, come outta Mikey's mouth as I hold his thighs down and I nip softly. My tongue twirls around the tail, as I feel it wiggle in my mouth, and my saliva drips across his skin. My fingers rub in circles across the back of his thighs, while I hear Mikey moan out my name.

"What...what are you doing?"

Heh, the kid sounds tired. But I'm gonna get him wide awake pretty damn quickly.

Giving a large suckle on his tail, I feel Mikey's body shudder from under me. I lean up and flip him over fast, and then attack his neck. Softly suckling and nibbling the side of his neck, I can't help but rub my hands up and down this boy's body.

Hmm...this boy...like the sound of dat.

It's weird. It's like a switch has been flipped on. I just wanted to make this kid moan and cry out my name, as my teeth softly nibbles his neck. Not hard, just enough to feel the skin slide across my teeth while my body rubs against his...

But I didn't wanna scare the kid. As my right hand squeezes and fondles his inner thighs, I look up to those blue eyes. My left hand fondles his plastron up and down, as I lean down and lick up and down his neck...right under his chin.

"Dis good...or too much..."

Well, I never really was much for words. Apparently, what I was doin' to Mikey made it so he wasn't much for words either...

"More. Moooore."

I stare into his eyes and lean down, kissing him hard as both of our purrs ran into the other's mouth. I suckled his tongue greedily, hungrily. And Mikey's body seemed to go more lip as his legs were tangling and curling with mine.

"Raaaaph. Raph, I..."

"Shhhhh."

I place a finger across his lips, which the damn kid nipped and licked at. Knew he was a Pervert.

But so am I.

My hands fondle across his plastron, as my nails scratch softly against it. My tongue paints his plastron up and down, and I can't help but grin. It seems Mikey is liking dis, as his body's shaking and his moans growin'.

I lean up and quickly suckle on the other side of his neck, while my knee gropes between his legs. I can feel Mikey squeeze both his legs, making my knee rub more and more into his crotch.

After going up and licking between Mikey's eyes, I look down at him. I guess my eyes must have been pretty something, since he was lookin' up at me with some type of awe or dumbstruck look on his face. Leaning down, I take his fingers on his left hand.

I suckle them, one at a time. Letting my spit and saliva coat each of his fingers. And the whole time I can see Mikey's blue eyes watchin' me. It was like the kid was hypnotized by what I was doin'. After suckling his fingers, I lean down and nip at his wrist. My tongue coats across where his pulse would be, while more and more shaky breaths come outta the kid's mouth.

I keep my eyes on him the whole time, as I scoot further down and nibble on his thighs. His left one, then his right one. My hands squeeze as if I was trying to mold them, and my teeth softly graze over that soft, lighter skin. I breathe deeply into the area of his crotch. But not yet...

I kiss down his legs until I get to his toes. It's cute, and pretty damn hot, because the whole time it seems Mikey had been flexin' and squeezing them over and over again.

I rub his feet with both of my hands, and I nip each one. Each toe that I suckle is like an electric shock goin' through Mikey's body. He shudders and shakes, and I see him try to take himself out of his shell...

"No. Hands down. Keep 'em there..."

Again, I didn't wanna scare the kid. But he quickly listened. And it wasn't fear on his face...just lust.

Oh yeah, hehe. Lotta lust.

I can hear gasps and moans of my name as I suckle each of Mikey's toes, and I feel them flex inside my mouth. I give a hard suckle and let drops of my saliva coat each and every toe, before I pick them up and nibble the bottom of his feet.

They're sort of a mix between kisses and soft bites on the bottom of his feet. Again, I didn't know what was possessing me. But every bone in my body just wanted to hear Mikey moan and cry out as much as possible. To make this hot boy underneathe me feel as damn good as possible.

Maybe it was me provin' myself to him. Or just the lack of sex and moments of 'hopin' catching up with me.

I spread Mikey's legs apart and put my knees in between them, and just hover over him. Stare at him. Such a damn, sexy scene. His body was just filled to the brim with lust, with those legs spread apart and those eyes staring me up and down. I just wanted to taste every bit and every part of him.

I grab his legs and thrust them up, and I hear Mikey give a sharp yelp. I scoot Mikey's body back, so that his head is off the pillow and more on the bed. Flatter is what I needed for what I wanted to do next. I lift his legs up and onto my shoulders, and then use my hands to lift his hips closer to my mouth.

"Wh-what are y-you.."

"Mikey. Don & Leo...they ever do this?"

And I lean over, and lick his hot boy hole. Both my hands reach over to rub and massage the outside of it, as I lean back in again and give a long, wet, but soft lick over it.

Mmm, yeah. A sharp cry comes outta Mikey.

"...N-n-No..."

Soft words comin' outta this hot boy's mouth.

"Ya like?"

And I was ready to laugh when I saw Mikey shake his head quickly, up and down, like he got a great gift for Christmas or somethin'. But I smirk instead, and lean back in. My tongue dances and curls across the muscle while my hands massage the outside of it. Kid's pretty clean down here. My tongue wiggles and circles the outside of it, and then I push forward. Just a tiny bit, as much as to let the tip of my tongue enter him.

Mikey was shivering like crazy, with moans and cries of my name fillin' the room. Perfect. Just the way I wanted, with the kid losing it from me. Because of me.

I hungrily dive my face against his hot boy hole, as my tongue wiggles and licks back and forth, up and down, and in circles. I can feel my tongue enter slightly more and more as time went by as I continued delving my tongue into Mikey's ass.

My eyes look over, and I can see the kid's toes clenching and his feet shakin'. I look forward, and Mikey's head is rollin' back and forth. His hands clench and unclench the bedsheets beneath us. Pretty damn hot!

I push my tongue deeper and deeper, hungrily eating Mikey's ass. Wantin' to consume him, make him mine, and be greedy about the whole thing. Wanting to get every cry, moan, and whimper that was coming out of Mikey's mouth.

From time to time, I would ease off and just let some spit and saliva roll across his hole. And then I would put my fingers and rub across his ass. Sometimes slow, and sometimes quick. I could see it loosening up more and more, lettin' my tongue go deeper and deeper until it was all in.

And Mikey's moans were as loud as can be by the time my tongue was fully inside him. I wiggled my tongue in a circle, curling and twisting as I felt along the walls inside his ass. I rubbed Mikey's tail with one hand as the other massaged his crotch, allowin' his hard-on to come out.

I couldn't help but moan as I saw Mikey drop down, and apparently I wasn't alone since the kid let out another long, drawn out moan as well.

I rubbed his shaft up and down with one hand, while the other rubbed his tail. I gave a few more thrusts with my tongue into Mikey, which made his body shake with each movement.

Putting his legs down, my hands smoothed over Mikey's thighs as my lips met with his shaft. Nibbling across the base of it, my tongue glided up and down. Slowly and steady.

Heh, and Fearless said I never had patience...

My fingers rub Mikey's tip, and I let the sticky precum ooze out slowly. I watch some of it slide down his shaft, so I take my tongue and lick upward and catch it with my mouth.

I can't help but moan at the taste. I lean up and suckle the tip of Mikey's cock, and let the precum settle on my tongue while lap at it again and again.

Whimpers and moans are gettin' almost hoarse for Mikey, as I see him staring down at me.

"Raphie. Good, sooo good, ooooo..."

Mikey's words are like a drug, as I push my mouth down and over his cock. I feel Mikey's hips rise up as a loud 'Yesss' erupts from the kid's mouth. But I hold his hips down, not wantin' him to choke me.

I keep one hand on his lips while my other goes between his legs. Right to where I had been lickin' before...

I push my finger easily into him, feeling Mikey's ass open up for me as I fill him. Drawn out whimpers of my name keep comin' out of the kid's mouth as I start pumpin' my finger in and out of him. At the same time, I ease my head up and down while my tongue curls around Mikey's shaft.

"D-d-duuuude. Are you, su-suuure this is your fiiiiirst time. Oh! Man! Uh Uhhh..."

I let my mouth off, but kept pushin' my finger deeper into him. I want to hit that spot deep inside him.

"Had a lotta time to think 'bout it."

Mikey's face seems to be drawn down now...and I know that look...

"Raph...I-I'm still sorr..."

I go up and kiss him hard.

"No sorries. All ya gotta do is answer dis...you like?"

And with that I thrust hard, and I'm able to hit that spot deep inside him.

"Oh! Yeah!"

I lean down and suckle more precum from his tip, and then kiss him again. I paint and coat his tongue, as we both are now tastin' Mikey's flavor, and then I whisper to him:

"Ya want more?"

"Yes...y-yeah. Fuck me Raphie. Please, fuck me."

I nip the corners of Mikey's mouth, and let my tongue slide across his bottom lip. My finger wiggles in circles inside him, and once in a while I thrust again to hit that spot deep inside him. And each time, another hard cry of my name comes outta Mikey's lips.

"Soon. Not now...soon."

"Noooo. Now! Now, now, now!"

Jesus, really? Poutin'? At a time like this?

"And besides...y-yoooooou should be w-wanting to fu-fu-fuuuuck me like crazy by now, right Raphie-booooy, ooo yes. That's it, that's iiiit."

I quiet the kid with another kiss, as well as another jolt from my finger now rubbing against that spot deep within him.

"Soon. Just wanna taste ya. See ya cum. Like a good boy."

I see his eyes flutter when the words 'boy' comes outta my mouth. Hmm, have to keep that in mind...

I lean back down and quickly push Mikey's cock back into my mouth. I slide my tongue up and down his shaft, then over the tip, while my finger plunged faster and faster.

"Harder Raphie. Please. Please! Harder, faster, uh uh uuuuh!"

I suckle harder and faster, and start to really finger fuck this hot boy underneathe me. I push my finger as fast as I can now, slamming it into the kid's prostate while my mouth slides up and down over Mikey's cock.

I can feel his ass tighten around my finger, while my other hand starts strokin' Mikey's tail. I keep them in movement with my mouth as I ready for what's about to happen.

"Ra-Raphie! I-I I'm cuuummming! Yes, yesssss, Ooooohhhhh!"

And I feel Mikey's seed squirt into my mouth, while his ass tightens around my finger. I can feel Mikey's entire body stiffen up, as his cries and yowls from his orgasm fill up the entire room.

I dig my finger against Mikey's hot spot deep within his ass, while I swallow shot after shot of Mikey's cream down my throat. I couldn't help but moan at this taste too, as I try to milk him for every single drop.

The shudders seemingly don't ease down but Mikey's shaft does, as my hand leaves Mikey's tail and instead strokes the kid's shaft. Collectin' each drop of his seed into my mouth, I clean him up as much as possible until it seems like Mikey wasn't cummin' anymore.

And with a few bits of his cream in my mouth, I pull my finger outta him. That makes a damn sexy whimper from Mikey.

And I lean over and press my lips to his, while his cum slides from my mouth and into his. I can see the kid's surprised at first...but so was I when the kid was doing some of the same stuff to me.

As my tongue paints his with his own cream, I lean back up and hover over him.

"Ya taste good kid. Swallow that up, just like the good boy you are..."

I studied Mikey, seeing what kind of reaction he had. His blue eyes fogged up in lust again, and he swallowed his own seed up hungrily. willingly, almost a little too willingly.

"Mmm, I think yer a naughty boy. Aintcha? Maybe somethin' Leo & Donnie don't know bout. Except me, eh?"

I was kinda just playin' around. But the serious looks and blushin' from the kid told me differently. I could hear a soft, 'Yes.' Almost as if the kid was ashamed or something.

I hold Mikey's face, as my hands sooth over that soft skin.

"I like dat. Damn sexy."

Mikey looks a bit surprised by that.

"R-really? It's not, I don't know, weird?"

I chuckle a bit at that.

"Mikey. I just slipped my tongue where the sun don't shine, just to hear ya cry out my name. That ain't weird?"

I could see Mikey thinkin' for a second, before wrappin's his hands around me and giving me one of those damn 'over-the-top' hugs that he sometimes gives us.

"Mmm...more like 'Extremely Awesome So You Better Not Stop or I'll Whine and Beg and Cry for Years Until You Do Stuff Like That Again' type of things."

It was then that I noticed that Mikey was still shuddering.

"Hey, ya okay there? You cold or somethin'?"

Mikey looked down and then noticed what I was talking about, and then decided to blush again.

"Heh, yeah. It was just..Intense!"

"What, I was that good or somethin?'

Again, that was meant for me just playin' around with him. That was, until Mikey looked at me seriously and whispered near my ear:

"Nah, not good. Better."

And then the kid decided to snuggle up and try to cuddle with me.

Fine, we did that before. Might as well do it now too. Damn kid, really tryin' to make me into his Teddy Bear or somethin'...

"Mmm, need a good nap after that. Heh hehehehe..."

Now what the hell was he laughin' at?

"What?"

Mikey snuggled across my neck, while he tangled his legs with mine and lifted the covers up over our bodies. And then he answered...in some kinda Sing-Songy voice or shit:

"Don-IEE and Le-OO would BE, SO, JEA-lous. Of MEEEE NOW, Yes MEEE NOW, Since I Got some Ra-PHIE! You Were Awesome, I WAs Awesome, and you were OH, SO, SEX-SEEE, and..."

Mikey seemed like he melted when I kissed him, and his arms wrapped around me more as he settled his heard further into the crook of my neck.

"Shush."

"Oh...*huffs*...fine."

I lean my head against Mikey's as my eyes start driftin' into sleep. That was, until I heard another whisper:

"But you owe me some Nookie later. With this..."

And the kid fuckin' groped me!

I pat his head softly.

"Spoiled brat."

And then a damn purr came outta him as he nestled against me, and kept on whispering:

"Want you. Much as possible. Love you, Raphiiieeee..."

And then he drifted off with my name slurring against his lips, but he had a big smile on his face.

I couldn't help but softly kiss the top of his head and close my eyes.

"Love ya too Mikey. Love ya too."


End file.
